Haha... I guess I am alright now... I think too much... Maybe I m the same as ur bestie, too sensitive..
Haiishh.... for nth I make myself miserable.. Whatever luhh~
Take care peeps... MIA from blog again till I am pissed or emo again~
Don't think so much Ferdy!!Why? Why must this happen to me? People around me, one by one get tgt... All I can do is envy...
Its nt that I am choosy, in fact, there is nth to choose from...
All those choices I have in my mind aint available now... When I fix on one, that one must disappoint me, and then someone else gets closer to me.. Make me so messed up only..
I want to give up, but is it that simple? If Ah Ha can gimme Wang Qing Shui (a potion to forget love) like how he gave Andy Lau (in his song, Ah Ha gei wo yi bei wang qing shui), life wouldn't be so hard like now...
Love is addictive, love is senseless, love has no reason.. Love, cant be forced.. Is patience even a key to love? Is waiting going to end up fruitful, or will it be an endless wait? No one will know till you find the answer yourself.. People around me tell me, WHY WAIT FOR HER? 3 yrs.. Its not short.. Why waste ur time? Dun give up the forest for a tree! But, I always believed waiting and showing and proving you love that person will touch that person.. But I guess I am wrong..
I think I myself have done more than enough.. I already dunno wad else to do.. Everytime I want to really show my love, the chance will slip off.. Am I waiting too much that I actually miss chances? Am I too impatient? Should I wait even longer? 5 yrs? 10 yrs? maybe till I am 50yrs? or maybe till she gets MARRIED?!?! Or even have children!??!?!?!?!
I dont know anymore... I am just so confused...
Nothing makes sense now.. Nothing proves to me waiting is worth while.. Sometimes, I even wonder if I am even just a friend to you, or just an online, virtual person, whom you can play with and dump one side when u dun need me? Am I not around and visible enough for you to see me? Am I not good enough for u to rmb? Am I not trustworthy enough for you to tell me your troubles? Why is that impt guy not me?
I think guardian angel is outdated.. I shall slowly disappear from your life.. I shall not bother u, cos u matter too much to me, that I couldn't bear you not seeing me around you.. Since I am that unimportant to u, I am no longer visible.. I shall vanish..
Bye, my dearest _____~
Love you~
ALL NONSENSE!!Do you know how much I love you?
Do you know why I can on and off wanna jio you?
Do you know why after so many times of trying and retrying, I still dun give up on you?
Do you know why I care so much?
Do you know why I try so hard to make u happy, but everytime I just failed to do so, but I never stop trying?
Do you know that my mood is always your mood of the day?
Do you know that I wanted to tell you so many times I LOVE YOU, but nothing comes out from my mouth?
Do you know that I was SO determined to make you happy even if I can never be with you with any relationship status?
All I want is to be with you, to make you happy, to help you, to be your Shou Hu Tian Shi.. To watch over you and to make sure your life is a happy one?
All I need is you to smile at me and say "thx FeRdy" and this is the best present for me. All I need is you to be able to open up and tell me what has been bothering u lately.
But sometimes, I think you don't need me. Afterall, I am just a friend you know online. I am not worthy to be so important over ur real life friends.
After so many things that have happened, that I know, you are the one I truly Love... All the songs u like, all the shows u like, all the things u like to do, all times we had together, all the sadness, all the happiness, all the places we went, all the things we did, all the friends we made tgt, all the times where I see u closer to someone else and I gets jealous... I REMEMBER THEM ALL!!!
WHY? All because you are the most important person in this whole world!! I can give up all my friends, all my wants just for u. Though I know u won't do the same. Love is never I do this, you should do it too kinda thing..But... I just want you to know is, I AM HERE FOR U!! I LOVE YOU!! I just want to see you happy!!
I Love You... ...**everyday i sit and think, why am i so foolish to have loved someone for 3 yrs, feeling so silly and stupid, waiting for a nevercoming love? why should i cry, why should i emo, why should i even be bothered about someone who will never be mine? I am crazy, mad.... .... dying soon** HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEEPS!!
Today got 3 ppl birthday!!
1 - Boon Hoe, my secondary school very good friend... He is the one that ask me to tune in to 93.3fm and got me interested in DJ-ing... Together with him, Cheng Yao, Geraldine and myself, we started what Cheng Yao named as, CrappyTeens Radio. We used our computer to host the DJ-ing sessions, and we had fun, though we were the only listeners, but what matters is we had fun. Later on, I further expanded CT to CrappyTeens Media and Broadcast Groups, and started CTPod with Jeremy, and i gave up on CT later on. Thanks BH for getting me exposed to MEDIA~ =D
2 - Joel, my secondary school best friend, and my CCA competition mate.. We tried to snatch the post of CSM(Company Sergeant Major), he won, but I become DCSM.. Haha... But still we were good friends.. Thanks bro, for those days~ Had fun though~ =D
3 - Alicia, a godsister I knew from RINKO SHIFU~ Alicia is a cute young girl that I met about 4 years ago.. 3 of us met for the first time at IMM, for the Fei Lun Hai's album signing thingy.. We knew each other from Habbo, but that was the first time we met... Cant forget those days... And recently, I kind of vent my frustration to her.. Thanks for listening to my craps meii!! Stay happy with ur BF uh!!! Shifu and I support u!! Anything must tell us ohh~
Happy birthday to all 3 of you peeps.. 8 yue 15 Zhong Qu Ye~.. LOL.. Lantern festival, but in the chinese calendar's 15th day of the 8th month luhh...
Anyways, STAY HAPPY~ =D
Joel, JIA YOU IN YOUR ARMY!! Sign on 5 yrs.. Haha.. I ORD in 19mths.. U long way luhh...
Boon Hoe, Enjoy all u can, NS COMING FOR U SOON~ haha.. BOTAK!!!
Alicia, TAKE CARE!!! =D
Love is not abt how much happier u r with that person, but how much u can sacrifice that happiness just to be with him/her!!
I post about this many times, and I just have to say this again and again, cos everytime, I get a diff answer.. Love hasany meanings. It comes in many forms and types..
Love is a feeling. But we will not be able to confim these kinda feelings till we fin out the answers ourselves.. And one way, is to ask... Ask and affirm that you love someone.. Bring out that courage to tell him/her about how u feel.. Only when u ask, and from the reaction of that person that u will know if you are true abt that love.. And only when u can show the love to the person, that u can know for urself if you really truly love him/her..
So, I would really encourage you peeps to voice out your feelings, so he/she would know, and so you urself would know.. Keeping it to urself will only leave u regret.. Even if you are rejected, at least u know u truly love him/her... And that you yourself know the answer too!! =D
Even if he/she has someone in his/her mind or by his/her side, he/she should also have the rights to know all these too.. Dun be afraid of being the third party.. U can't b a third party unless he/she allow u to do so!!! U are NOT THE MAIN cause to a triangle of love..
Take care peeps, and may you find your true love soon!!
