Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Last post before Stay In
Today is the last day of my Off~
Tomorrow onwards, i will be staying in camp.. Online lesser, msn lesser, go out lesser... Phew... Sads... Hopes this is the start of a new life.. Haha
Anyways, today I spent my day packing my room and my bag.. And I found some drawings I drew somewhere last year... Kinda cute, but yea... MY DRAWING SUCKS!! Dun expect a very good piece.. Haha~
Here you go~
HAHA!! Very lousy.. I know... Don't comment pls... cos ya... its very lousy... they are some of my best le... LOL!! I was just bored... yea... =x
Saturday, September 26, 2009
奇迹
I believe in Miracle...
I believe no matter what, things can happen as long as we have the determination... Don't rush... Wait for the miracle... Work for it step by step... God will see it... People will see it... People will believe it!
I have decided... No matter what is the outcome, what is the end... I will not give up anymore... I gave up too many times... This time, I am gonna be your friend, someone whom will always be with u when u need, someone whom will cheer u up in times of sadness, someone whom will be there towards the end of your life... I will do my best as a friend, to protect u, to make your life easier.. Even if in the end you won't fall in love will such a normal guy like me, who is just a friend, it doesn't matter.. I believe in Miracles... I believe with hardwork, with perseverance comes result... I WON'T GIVE UP!!!
Rinko Low... I love you... It won't change for now, and neither for the future... But I will be around you, as a friend.. Someone you can rely on, no matter what happens.. I will show you, this is LOVE, not lust... I will show you, I AM TRUE TO YOU THIS TIME!
I will carry on my dream, carry on my changes... All just to get ready to welcome you by my side, to give u the best present, and the best life you can ever get... I won't regret loving you, even if you will never love me... I won't regret knowing you, even if you disown me one day... All because I really really want to say (those 3 words) again... But I swear, I will never mention those words in front of you, or to you ever again... All because I want you to be happy... I want you to live without the stress of me wanting to jio you...
All I can do is forever saying these 2 words, even till the day you get married, and the guy ain't me... JIAYOU!
You say I can't be Dylan, but trust me.. I will be... Cos I know very well I will never have you.. But at least I will never regret loving you, even for a second more on this earth!
Friday, September 25, 2009
我决定了
我决定了！我要全面改变我自己！
不管我将来可以不可以打动你的心，不管你将来会不会爱我，我要改变我自己。让自己变成一个很多女生都想要的男生。我要实现我梦想，我要赚钱，我要改照我的型象！
Lazy type chinese... Anyways~
I dun care if I become a basturd like those I hate in the past, I want to be someone successful, powerful, rich, and perhaps better looking than now.. Even if I have to use low-down methods to make it possible, I WANT TO CHANGE!!
I want to change to someone who people will want to know me, want to be with me, even if its just for my money or looks. I fuck care already! What's the point of staying like now, a useless idiot who always help ppl, when after that, no one even looks at me in the eyes? For what I gave so much to the world and I get nothing back?
I dun mind if there is no direct return, but nth have been well for me now! I helped ppl, I gave ppl encouragement, I try to give ppl hope, I try to be there for ppl... But after I done that, I felt happy for a moment.. So what? They dun even look at me after all these.. I lose friends.. I lose people I can rely on.. I lose ppl I trust.. People so important to me, that I must go through all these trouble to help.. They just turn around and walk away.. Some, even bite me saying I made them feel worse..
I just wanna help.. I just wan them to feel better.. I just want them to know, THE WORLD IS NOT THE END, just because I am here if they need me!! So, when they dun need me, I dun exist.. WTF!
Fine.. I shall not be there from now on.. I am fucking lazy to care so much.. I am a busybody!!
I won't be online for a long time.. Even if I am, most probably during weekends.. ONLY THOSE WHO BOTHER CONTACTING ME, WILL KNOW I AM STILL ALIVE!! Or else, take me as a dead person, out of this world already! Need me, contact me.. Lazy contact me, then TOO BAD!
I am on Off days since Wednesday, till next Tuesday.. But it doesn't feel like an off day at all.. Jio ppl go out, all throw paper planes at me.. FINE! I shall spend my rest of the Off Days, PLANNING FOR MY FUTURE! MY DREAMS! Fuck Friends! Fuck going out! Fuck Enjoyment! FUCK FUN!
I will be staying in Camp From Sundays to Fridays cos of ARMY.. ALL I WANT IS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS cos of my limited freedom soon.. No one bothers.. No one cares.. FUCK IT! U dun wan me, I also dun bother! It's not my loss!!! You people will regret!
*PS: I just wanna love someone, be stable in relationship, live my life with that person, make that person happy even by doing the silliest thing on earth.. I just wanna love you more, IS THAT WRONG?!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Never Say Die - I love Rinko Low
Posting in english again.. Abit lazy today.. but in Hyper Mood~ Woots~
I saw her blog... And I agree, I cant be dylan.. I am Cun Xi!! Cos me and him kinda alike... I admit it isn't the first time I said I love you, and it isn't the first time I moved on to other girl and back to u... I know I seem like a flirt, like someone u cant trust... I broke ur trust not just once.. It's countless..
It doesn't matter if you don't have feelings for me... All I know is, if I dun try to jio u now, I'll regret in future... This time, I will not change... I know you won't believe, but its ok.. =D
ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!! No more saying... Do it, Mr FeRdy!! =D
Saw her today.. Believe it or not, it wasn't planned, neither did i purposely waited.. I took bus 18 from Tampines Interchange... The bus was FREAKING SLOW CANS!! Then when reach her house downstairs, I saw bus 21.. Btw, I didn't take 18 cos I wanna see her, cos IT CAME FIRST!! Dun anyhow.. I planned nth.. Fate planned it.. Anyways, I saw 21, then I was like walking slowly.. Then I thought to myself.. She won't be on this bus.. I walked a little faster and looked back again, I saw the bus moved off and SHE WAS CROSSING THE ROAD!! WTF... Idk I should hide or run or stand still... In the end, she saw me.. We exchanged smiles, and then I said hi... Then we chat alittle while waiting for her lift... And then we went separate ways..
I always believe in Fate.. But this is the first time that I met her while we still contacting... Everytime while we are contacting or when we are close, I dun see her on the streets.. but when we stop contacting for awhile, then I see her.. Like fate is playing with me... Today, this is fate... I didnt know her sch ends wad time, she dunno I half day... PLUS, she actually wanna go TM with friend to buy bday present, but she decided to go home study... It really looks like fate to me.. Idk about you...
Maybe I think too much? But I'll think positive... I'll say, this is telling me, my most recent decision is right! I CANNOT GIVE UP!! Last time I have no confidence to jio her, so once she reject me, few months or even weeks later, I jio-ing another girl... Trying to run away from my feelings towards her... I wanna give up on her, cos I no confidence...
This time, I dun care about possibilities, I dun care about confidence.. I only trust Fate, and most of all, the heart that counts.. Fate only allows people to meet and know one another, but its the hardwork, the heart, that makes 2 person possible... I don't believe I am unable to touch her heart... 3 yrs of doing nth is coming to an end!! I'll jio her, till she finds me so irritating... I dun believe we are not possible.. Nothing is impossible without trying.. Possibility is too easy to estimate without trying.. Last time ppl say its impossible for humans to fly.. Now we have aeroplanes..
I WILL TRY MY BEST.. Till the day u accept me, or the day u get married.. Even if I end up like Dylan, who can only watch u get married, giving u all ur blessings, I don't mind... Cos I love you..
Saturday, September 12, 2009
我不会放弃的！
shifu，我只想说，我爱的是你。我不会放弃的！就算我的结果是和Dylan一样，我也要尽我全力去追你！我会尽量打动你的心的！我会等你，不管到天崖海角，不管你拒绝我几次，我都会不停的爱你，直到我看到有一个爱你，你又爱他的人，再到你结婚那天，我才会慢慢的离开。
Shifu，我爱你！<3
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
我的生日！
多一个月，十二天就是我的生日了！在十月十七与十八日我将会庆祝我的生日，在白沙渡假村（Pasir Ris CoastaSands Resort）。谁想来请报名喔！！
节目还没安排 xP
希望她有来喔！我要给她一个惊喜！！ >.<
Monday, September 7, 2009
做好人有用吗？
从小我就告诉我自己， 我一定要做一个好人。可是，当好人不容易。被人利
用，被人忽略。我很累。 为什么做什么都那么不成功呢？我帮人，又没人帮我。
我知道帮人不求回报，可是这也太 ｀jialat｀ 了吧？帮人帮到自己这么
窝囊（nang）！ 什么都做不好。 做人做到最失败的在这世界上我看就只有
我一个了。 我只想人家快了，那我呢？ 我只想要找一个可一和我度过一生的
人，一个可以让我照顾一辈子的人，都那么难找吗？
女人看的不是你人有多好，有多爱她，而是你有多诱人，多帅，她有多爱你。
你对她的爱，根本没有价值。她不爱你，就是不爱你。你不可能能够改变她的
心的。
什么童话，什么台弯偶象剧，什么等待就有希望，什么无会报的付出就有好事，
都是骗人的！！！我只想要好好的爱一个人。三年了，我已经快崩溃了。爱一个人如果那么痛苦，
为何还要爱呢？
可能是我想太多了吧。这次是我最后一次尝试再去追你，还追不成，就是老天爷
告述我你不是我的命中注定。我就只有放弃了。我会用尽我的全力去追求你。
如果我们不可能的话，在你看到我现在的这些话，马上告述我，好让我不伤得那
么痛。谢谢！
这次不成功的话，你会占时看不到我。不要试着联络我，因为我在用尽我全力把
你给忘记，把我的伤痛疗好。我只能说，我们真的有缘，会再次向遇，再次做一
个很要好的朋友。
谢谢你对我的好。谢谢你给我的快乐。
祝你幸福！我爱你。。。＊FUCK LOVE＊
Friday, September 4, 2009
华语cool！！！
从今天起我会以华语来做我的 Blogging。
再多几天，我可能会开一个新的 Blog 来与你分想我对生活所领悟到的道理。
今天就写到这里，下次再聊咯！！
<3
P S : 爱你喔！！
