Waiting

are you still in habbosoup now?

2010-04-15T03:21:00.001-07:00

Nope... Not anymore... I am now in Hello FM... http://hellofm.weebly.com

Are you happy w what u have now?

2010-03-21T21:46:00.001-07:00

Probably No. Because there are many things that I do not have. Of cos its nt about expensive cars or what, but basic Diplomas, Job, Stable Income, etc, I still do not have. So I am not happy with what I have now! DEFINITELY!

Ask me anything

What was your favorite year?

2010-03-09T02:16:00.001-08:00

2006: Finished O levels; Start of poly; New life; Long Holidays; Start of HabboSoup; knowing people like BlackSpark, Orangesoda-, fallenx, breadcrumbs, habbogalz, twofold, alone and many many more; start of a relationship that I had never forgotten! That, was my peak in my life up till now. Boring right? LOLs

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-03-09T02:10:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/herecomesbirdy

Empty~

2010-03-06T14:48:00.001-08:00

Just watched "Devil Beside Me".. Chiong the final 15 episode from 9pm till now.. Last 3 episodes let me cry nonstop like a baby...

But this time, unlike the usual reason of crying, I cried purely cos of the show.. Unlike last time, I watch xia yi zhan xinfu, I cried cos I tot of Rinko while watching the show.. Almost 80% of the time, I cried cos of girls.. And most of the time, I used movies or dramas to cover ther fact that I am crying cos of girls.. But just now, I couldn't find anyone to cry for.. I guess this is the first time after 7 years that I actually felt so lonely bahh..

Though I always tell people that out of all the girls I loved before, I love Rinko the most, but the girl that I missed the most is actually Cheryl.. Cos that was the sweetest time I had.. If time could return, I would try to make her stay..

Life is fair bahh.. I let Eileen down several years ago, and since then, I haven't been in luck with relationships.. Perhaps karma?

I am tired.. Tired of crying.. Tired of trying.. Tired of finding people to tell my problems to.. Tired of running away..

I have been running away.. Cheryl, Rinko, Jervine, Dorothy, Jieyi... I have been trying to get out of their lives.. Perhaps cos of jealousy, perhaps cos of hatred, or perhaps just because I no longer have the courage to face relationships!

This is the first time I really really felt so empty, so lonely... I tried doing what those dramas do.. Cos of a failed relationship, messed up their life by playing around... Perhaps I did it... I am messed up.. I can't even concentrate on doing on my stupid fucking dreams! My DJ, my Radio!!!!! All I know is fucking flirt around, go out with, many girl friends around me..

I am fucking messed up now... I hate my life.. Cos it's no more about the future, the dreams.. It's all about the past.. Those people I loved.. Those failed relationships..

Now. I no longer know my purpose of living.. Though I know very well I have no courage to die.. But I m as good as dead now..

Somebody save me? Somebody wake me up from this fucking nightmare? Somebody slap me? I don't want to lead life like this anymore.. I want a new life.. I need motivation.. I need "her"!!!

Woots~

2010-02-21T09:32:00.001-08:00

Lalala...

This is SOOO TRUE ABOUT ME!! esp the part of How to Seduce a Libra! OMG LUHH!!
Here

This is so cute!!! ESP the part on How many Sagittarians does it take to screw a light bulb...
Here

And this... I LOVE THIS RESULT!!!
Here

HAHAHA!!!!
>.<

I am still considering

2010-02-08T18:15:00.001-08:00

Well, after what happened on Sunday, I really dont think I wanna para anymore.. Seriously, that feeling is gone.. Probably cos of the change that I am going through.. FeRdy has finally grown up..

I guess it has all started since dec last year, after what she said to me.. Now, I can officially announce I am truly not myself anymore.. Yays~

And since so, I think there is no need for me to stay in the clique.. The clique was started for a reason, and that mission, to me, has been accomplished.. Means it's time to step out..

Therefore, I have half a mind to leave the clique.. I am no longer that old self, plus I have completed my mission.. Therefore, even if I stay, it'll never be the same..

I have decided to stop paraing~ Though once in awhile I will still para abit.. But as forthe clique, I am done with it..

Whew~ loads off my mind.. =D

Thx peeps, I had fun with u guys around, but it's time for me to move on... Don't miss me!!

Forever just a Guardian Angel

2010-02-07T08:14:00.001-08:00

I am forever destinied to just be a guardian angel~ Never to love anyone..

Confusion? I am not hongster.. I am just confused by my feelings! Afraid of being hurt!

2010-01-30T13:26:00.000-08:00

I dont wanna take anymore hints! Cos I just cant take it le! I always get the wrong hints, get the wrong idea, and fall in love with the wrong people! I am afraid to get into another endless hole!

I just feel freaking empty now. Cos I just cant get myself back up, to fall in love again~

Why am I confused? Hmms... Kinda cos of 3 ppl...

Alot of things happened yesterday (Sat) and the day before (Fri).

On Thurs, Rinko smsed me. Somehow, i was freaking happy. Very excited. Very looking forward to that outing! Its been about more than a month since we met. And its one of the few times she actually initiated by asking if I am free. I am the usual one to ask. In the end, though it was cancelled, I wasn't angry. I am not pissed or sad. I don't blame her. She just can't throw her sis one side and go out with me. Her mum isn't at home and her sis is left alone for dinner. I know she won't bear to leave her family like that. So, I don't blame her. Just kinda disappointed. I really hoped we could meet. Afterall, it was so coincidental that she asked me out, when I took leave long before she asked me! Perhaps Fate? Nahh... I don't believe le..

So that's my Friday. Saturday, in the morning, Jervine smsed me say its cancelled. Our usual Para Session. The one and only time a week I get to go out with the Clique. With Alex, Jervine, Dorothy, and some of Jervine's friends. Kinda sad, cos I've got double PS-ed. Xi Guan jiu hao bahh. I always get PS-ed. Kinda used to it, though I'll get a little disappointed.

In the afternoon, Alex called to ask if I am going. I didn't know they r going already, so I rejected by saying I am tired and lazy. But jervine smsed me asking why I not going. So I called Alex, and found that all of them going, including Dorothy, whom said that she can't go cos of her dad etc... Was kinda delighted to recieve such news though. So I quickly got a few clothes and rushed out of the house. Went back a few times cos I kept missing some things. Wore a "Yo!"-like attire.. Its SO YO! luh! Like macham I gonna do a hiphop at Marina lidat! LOL! So Paisehh, so many ppl look at me sia! I KNOW I VERY SHUAI, but no need stare till lidat mahh.. jkjk.. HAHA!! BHB~

So we met. Jervine said she gotta meet her bf later, cos they quarrelled the night before, and so she is going to 'patch up' with him. Dunno luhh.. Something lidat de.. So we para-ed.. In the end, she is late.. We chat abit, and she decided not to go.. =.=

But then, Alex already left, cos he was damn 'jealous' that jervine buying present for her bf, for his birthday today. Left me, Jervine and Jervine's godbro. Dorothy actually wan come, but we were planning to 'go home' le.. So asked her no need come le.. So she didnt come.. In the end, till 10+, we still at Marina.. Went to esplanade to 'emo'. Some of us only.. Can say, is me, and Jervine more bahh.. Maybe Alex also.. Jervine cried.. Though she STRONGLY DENIED IT! Shhhh... Dun say hor! I wanted to cry also luhh... But I cant find a reason to cry.. Just felt damn confused..

Somehow, when I was telling Jervine those things, I kinda thought I like her!! AGAIN! But nahh.. Now to confirm, I think I just take her as a sister, and really cared alot for her.. I did something wrong.. That is to comfort her.. It should be Alex's Job.. When she cried, Alex was first to noticed and rushed to the toilet to get toilet paper, while I saw later and put my hand over to comfort her.. WRONG MOVE BRO!! Should have left her alone.. Wait till Alex come by.. Can see Alex really wanna do it, but cos I am already comforting her, he Lan Lan just sit and watch, and pass her the Tissue Papers. ALSO, I SEE ONE VERY CUTE THING I SHOULDN'T SEE!!! Alex tried to grab Jervine's hand when dashing across the road! (Cos we were jaywalking) HAHAHA!!! SO CUTE!! In the end never grab until luhh... Saw the hand like wanna grab but ant find lidat! HAHA!! >.<

Lastly, before everything ended, I replied to Dorothy's msgs. And she said things that like... If I still take hints, I SURELY FALL INTO THAT ENDLESS HOLE AGAIN!

Lemme try recall:
D = Dorothy
F = ME!!

D: Nite too :) Bytw anything happen just now?
F: what thing?
D: like something bad happen like that. no rite?
F: wad u mean? nth much ba.. except somebody super disappointed that u nt here.... haha... jkjk
D: lol. who siah? i sick but when i going then u all go home liao. nverm next time lah. :) really nth happen?
F: ME!! Aiyahh, u sick then rest at home mahh.. Anyways, we never go back, still at marina (cant rmb, something lidat de bahh - lost the msg)
D: lol! then tell me mahh! then I can u turn back again
F: No luhh.. by the time we decided not goin back, already 8+ le.. You got curfew de mahh.. Cant too late also..
D: u all uh. next time bah. :) some more i'm broke this yr! next yr i'm going to be leaded :) hahaha.
[more behind - not typing out]

If I still take hints, when I see that she say she will u turn and come to Marina, just after I said its ME that is super disappointed that she not there, I SURE will fall in again!

HAHA!!! Got 1 is super obvious, which is the last person I mentioned. But got 2 more whom I mentioned earlier, who made me so confused!

But whatever it is, I won't go into another relationship till I am ready. Till I get over these. Till I learn to love again. Perhaps I needa change for myself. Perhaps I should wait till after I fulfilled my dreams, and perhaps become successful! All the perhaps.. No one knows for sure about the future! All I can say is, I ain't giving up on any possible Destinied Girl! The time will come, to a day when I am ready to recieve this precious gift from God! This special girl, who is made just for me on this earth!

*I won't take anymore hints, I only take direct answers! And since girls usually ain't so direct, my chances will be slim. But whatever it is, life have to go on! I MUST LIVE MY DREAMS!! JIAYOU! FERDY!

My Dream~ Is this a hint or what?

2010-01-28T20:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was surprised by an sms. For 4 years that I knew her, she hardly initiate our outings. Most of the time, I'll sms her on Thursdays or Wednesdays to ask if she is free on Friday. This time, she messaged me to ask if I wanna meet TODAY! And guess what? I took off today on Monday. It was a planned off, but not planned for her. Accuracy or Fate? Or is it plainly coincidence? HAHA!!

After some chatting, she said she can't confirm yet, cos her mum won't b home and she dun wanna leave her sis at home alone etc..

So, I asked God. Is this s hint? Should I continue to wait silently, or just give up totally? I really wanna give up, but I am afraid miracles come the wrong time etc..

THEN, I had this dream last night. I dreamt that we celebrated birthday. We were so close on my birthday I was so happy.. We planned to meet the next day.. There were other ppl involved in this dream but i cant rmb who.. The next day, she totally ps-ed us.. She didn't came.. I called her and heard someone else in the phone.. A guy..

I kinda scolded her (i think?)... She then got damn pissed off and scolded me back... Then on, whenever i saw her, she would give me attitude and scold me again.. And guess what.. In this dream, cos its a dream, I seem to meet her EVERYWHERE I GO.. Though in real life, I only met her coincidentally like less than 5 times on the road.. We stay so near yet seldom have this fate to meet...

Then I was running around a building, in and out of connected room (dont ask me why, cos this part dun make sense... I think I am running away from her)... Then I saw a friend, and he treated me to canteen food... I saw my PRIMARY SCHOOL STALL HOLDERS IN THIS CANTEEN! And he treated me a special kind of Milo.. Its like weird.. And I woke up..

My face were so.. err... just like I cried before lidat.. Did I cry in my dreams?!? IDK...

Somebody tell me.. What does this dream mean? Dreams usually dont make so much sense, as in can't be told as a story... I don't usually remember so much about my own dream.. I asked God for an answer (not hint anymore cos i can't take it le), and I got this dream.. I feel damn sad in the dream...

*Mood: Feel like crying.. Don't feel like going out with anyone, but alone.. Probably to cry and scream or wad..

Memories

2010-01-15T05:14:00.001-08:00

I am now cycling outside.. Now sitting at the same pavilion as I sat 2 years back.. Remember we were eating shark fin soup we bought from the interchange..

Looking at the playground reminds me of another time when u didn't wanna be home early, so we sat on the playground and talk, abt ur ex, john, and ur bestie..

Now the playground renovated, memories r gone, but they still remains in my mind.. They seems so close, yet it's 2 years ago..

Why am I still living in the past? Why am I still so deeply in love with u? Why do I still think about all these? Is it just a habit that we used to meet every Friday? Or is it that I am really so deeply in love with u?

My army friends says that u look more like my gf than just a good friend I had when they somehow saw our old pictures.. I am happy.. Is this the feeling of happiness when the world thinks we r together even if we ain't?

Looking at those same Picts, we seems so close, but yet so far.. Somehow, I keep having this feeling u n I don't look compatible at all.. But why do I love u so much?

Somehow, I wanna move on! I wanna love someone else! I wanna run away from what that does not belong to me! I JUST DONT WANNA LOVE U ANYMORE! Cos as u said, we r impossible! And I don't wanna lose u! Not even just as a friend, but I just can't stop thinking abt the past, because u made up the majority of my memories in the past! There r far too many to let go of! And I am someone who don't let go of memories easily.. I still can remember so much about us.. How we met, where we first met, wad we did, the fish and co treat, the badminton game, the macdonald studies, the times we went shopping, the way u encouraged me to try out para cos I am interested but don't have the courage, the movies, the chats... Alot more! And I just can't throw them away.. My trash bin is full in my memory..

I... I just can't.. Let u go~
Somebody save me!!

I hate guys who "fuck" "off"!!

2010-01-01T21:08:00.000-08:00

What I mean fuck off... Easy... Fuck, and go off like nobody's business...

Most guys I know r like that... They dun care how the girl feels... Ok.. There r girls who wanna be fucked... SO?! Not all girls are.. Even if they agree..

Girls usually agree to a sexual intercourse to a guy because they love him... They were hoping by giving that desire of the guys, they will get the desire of theirs. Which is to be loved even more... but thats not the case for most... Guys go after a girl mainly for their body... Once a girl let a guy gets it too early, game over... The guy is most probably not interested in the girl anymore...

This happened to many ppl around me... Most, got hurt real badly.. but they didn't say it... They just secretly hide this truth, and cry to themselves for being silly...

Why must guys hurt girls this way? Do you guys know that, to u, sex might just b a few mins (or maybe even hour(s) of fun), but to girls, they'll remember it for long (some even for life)... Its their natural instinct to rmb these (painful memories)... BUT to you guys, its just FUN! FUCK U!

Don't mix Love & Sex... Sex is a process that last just a few mins (or maybe hours), but love is a feeling that SHOULD last for a long time... (as what ppl say, easy to love, hard to forget) If love is sex, and sex is love, then too bad for u, you haven't gone through LOVE.. Those are just lust.. lust for sex... People to not Fuck to Love... You should not give your body to anyone (even guys) just to get more love! You should Love to Fuck (not saying that you'll Love Fucking), meaning you must first LOVE, then FUCK!!!

Guys, if you cannot promise the love the girl wants, don't fuck them even if they ask u to... Guys will think, I HAVE NO LOST!! CB YOU! Fuck You, understand?

What I wanna say is simple... DO NOT MIX LOVE AND SEX... I don't wan another of my friends around me get hurt... I FUCKING HATE THIS FUCKING SHIT!!!

Fuck and go... Think wad? Macdonalds?

I just wanna be myself... Even if the world will hate me~

2010-01-01T18:06:00.000-08:00

I am unique.. But I don't deny, I am a weirdo... My friends say so.. Some girls think so.. Why? Cos I am different..

Some girls complains that guys dun understand girls.. But have they tried to look around for guys whom really understands them? Many guys understands girls, but chose to ignore... As for me, I just used what I understand and know, to treat girls... But the more you seem like u understand girls, the more girls find u a weirdo.. Most of the time, these 'weirdos' becomes more of a confidant... Someone who is more like a very good friend, like a brother.. Someone whom girls can speak to, can talk to.. That's all, I guess..

I love taiwan dramas.. But honestly, I have never liked the endings... Its always the guy who put in the most effort that loses.. And the guy that hurts the girl again and again wins... It's so unfair.. I know.. Love cannot be forced.. It cannot be measured by how much effort one put in.. It doesn't work that way.. It doesn't mean I put in effort, she must love me... But, it appears that these 'weirdos' doesn't even stand the second...

People say I am childish, say I know too much, say I am weird... Initially, I wanna change... I wanna conform... I wanna b 'normal' in their eyes.. I wanna be able to get attention of girls, so that I can at least jio them... BUT after so much of 'emoing', I have decided... I wanna be myself.. Someone in this world is made for me... Someone in this world will accept me for who I am..

I used to laugh alot.. Used to be so cheerful.. Slowly, this becomes a mask, to hide those true feelings inside.. Slowly, everything becomes a habit, not my trueself... So, what am I? How am I supposed to act? Everything about myself seems so far.. I could barely remember anything anymore... All I can remember is how to act, cos thats what I have been doing.. What is my trueself like? Its so vivid now...

If life can restart from a certain point, I wanna restart from Sept 2006... When I was in Singapore Poly.. I guess, thats where my mask started to b on... I wanna change the fact that I jioed Cheryl... I wanna b my usual loner.. One who can travel around alone and not feel lonely, one that can go shopping alone and have lots of fun, one that can resist the temptation to smoke.. One that have never seriously fall in love and get hurt.. One that have so much passion about Media nth in the world can stop him...

If not for her, I wouldn't pick up smoking, I wouldn't stop DJing to avoid her, I wouldn't put on a mask everyday to pretend I am fine... It's all because of her, that I am like this now.. Though seriously, I don't blame her, but all these changes, I can see for myself... I know when I changed, I know why I changed... I changed cos I love her, and she is my world.. Whatever she wanna do, I'll do it with her... But in the end... ... (though she is not the one who caused me the most pain..)

Yes, she changed me... Kind of waited for her for abt 8-9mths, and gave up... Not entirely, but somesort... Went for another girl, and never succeeded in relationships ever since... That is because I forced myself, to wanna be the guy that will never hurt any girls again... I wanna be the Mr. Perfect... But instead, I became this weirdo I am now... HAHA!!! *swipes tears* I am fine... really...

Seriously, I find myself wanting to know so much about girls, to the extend, I find myself kind of like one... When girls say, "I am fine.", they usually ain't... When girls say: "nothing", it means there is something, ask me more... When girls say I wanna be alone: "They wish someone will be there to hear them out, that will lend them a shoulder to cry on." I might be wrong... But I am speaking of majority...

I really dunno... I guess, I'll continue to be myself... No.. To find back my trueself... Slowly... Cos I don't wanna change just cos ppl says so!!

So what if I am childish? So what if I am weird? Whats so bad about me? WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST TAKE A MIN, TO LOOK CLOSELY AT ME, AND SAY THAT "YOU ARE SPECIAL"?

Seriously, only Trybe said that to me... But to be honest.. If I ask you, list 5 words that comes across your mind when u think of me.. Can be Verb, or even nouns~ Can u even list the 5 words? I doubt so... Cos some words, will like to Lame, Weird, Stupid, Childish...

If you say I am negative, I'll say I am not... Cos Lame, Weird, Stupid, Childish- are praises to me.. Or rather, were... BECAUSE THATS WHO I AM!!!

Sorry for wasting your time reading this... I just wanna post my feelings out, after watching MVP Valentine, Hi My Sweetheart, & Autumn Concerto... I just wish, this weirdo, will become a normal guy again one day...

Cos, I AM SPECIAL! I... AM... FER... DY!!! I AM MYSELF!!!

Haha.. Feel better now... WHEW~ *sniff sniff*

Friends once again~

2009-12-05T10:47:00.001-08:00

I have thought about it... its been 3 days since.

I have decided, life goes on... I have to let go of my loves... Every one of them.. Some, already letted go, some just able to do it... Whatever it is, I just hope they stay as my friend forever.. I just want them to b happy... See them have BFs, see them laugh, and be by them if ever they need to cry... I don't want to lose any friends...

Life is always like that... I like you, you like him, he like her, she like them... WOW... If ever there is a chance that u like someone, TELL HIM/HER!!! Get the answer.. You'll never know if he/she feels the same for u.. And if he/she does, cherish him/her.. Those chances dun always come...

Try your best to win that person if needed... But when I say best, means there is a limit... Stop when its necessary~

Love is the process, the journey, thats beautiful.. Not the end, the destination.. Remember the journey, cos the end is not always beautiful.. Love cos it brings beautiful memories... Memories you can cry when u think of it, memories you can laugh at, memories you and think of... Love, something hurtful, but fulfilling... Something nice, but pricks once in awhile...

Go on FERDY!! Live your life, fulfil your dreams.. Treat those people around you as friends, take a break from love for the time being... You have tried hard enough, you earn your rest...

All we need is a few short breaths, and move on...

Love like you have never loved anyone before when u have the chance... At least, you won't live with any regrets...

I have finally let go of love... My love for Jacinda, Jieyi, Cheryl, Rinko, Jervine... Throughout those years, I have never let go of Cheryl and Rinko... The rest, might just be my passing clouds... but for these 2, they are my stars... they will forever be shining, even in the day... All I wanna say is, live your life happily, and that's all I am asking for from you...

Found Jacinda and Jervine once again... Paras with Jervine was fun... Nuer and Daddy Forever!

Back in contact with Rinko... That birthday will be an unforgettable experience for me.. Sorry for choosing the wrong present~ Stay happy! Shifu and Tudi forever!!

As for Jieyi, thx for talking to me as a friend when I was down... I appreciates it... Talk to me if u have any troubles k? I am here if u need mee~

Lastly, Cheryl, though idk why u change HP and nvr inform me, and not online on MSN etc, I just wan you to know, I treat u as a friend... Just a Friend... So, talk to me when u r ready.. I am always here!

Finally, I can let go of all these after all these years! I m gonna go for my dreams now.. WISH ME LUCK OK?

FRIENDS FOREVER!!!

---

*I am glad I ain't crying when I typed this post... ...

I m in love (part 1)

2009-11-15T17:53:00.001-08:00

3years and 2months ago, I met this girl on Habbo.. I was on my usual DJing session, playing songs and talking, except that, there was no listeners at all! But around 1+am, I saw 1 listener.. I began to concentrate hard on doing a good show.. I went online, search up some stuffs and talked about it..

This.. is how I knew this girl..

Last post before Stay In

2009-09-29T02:51:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of my Off~

Tomorrow onwards, i will be staying in camp.. Online lesser, msn lesser, go out lesser... Phew... Sads... Hopes this is the start of a new life.. Haha

Anyways, today I spent my day packing my room and my bag.. And I found some drawings I drew somewhere last year... Kinda cute, but yea... MY DRAWING SUCKS!! Dun expect a very good piece.. Haha~

Here you go~

HAHA!! Very lousy.. I know... Don't comment pls... cos ya... its very lousy... they are some of my best le... LOL!! I was just bored... yea... =x

奇迹

2009-09-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

I believe in Miracle...

I believe no matter what, things can happen as long as we have the determination... Don't rush... Wait for the miracle... Work for it step by step... God will see it... People will see it... People will believe it!

I have decided... No matter what is the outcome, what is the end... I will not give up anymore... I gave up too many times... This time, I am gonna be your friend, someone whom will always be with u when u need, someone whom will cheer u up in times of sadness, someone whom will be there towards the end of your life... I will do my best as a friend, to protect u, to make your life easier.. Even if in the end you won't fall in love will such a normal guy like me, who is just a friend, it doesn't matter.. I believe in Miracles... I believe with hardwork, with perseverance comes result... I WON'T GIVE UP!!!

Rinko Low... I love you... It won't change for now, and neither for the future... But I will be around you, as a friend.. Someone you can rely on, no matter what happens.. I will show you, this is LOVE, not lust... I will show you, I AM TRUE TO YOU THIS TIME!

I will carry on my dream, carry on my changes... All just to get ready to welcome you by my side, to give u the best present, and the best life you can ever get... I won't regret loving you, even if you will never love me... I won't regret knowing you, even if you disown me one day... All because I really really want to say (those 3 words) again... But I swear, I will never mention those words in front of you, or to you ever again... All because I want you to be happy... I want you to live without the stress of me wanting to jio you...

All I can do is forever saying these 2 words, even till the day you get married, and the guy ain't me... JIAYOU!

You say I can't be Dylan, but trust me.. I will be... Cos I know very well I will never have you.. But at least I will never regret loving you, even for a second more on this earth!

我决定了

2009-09-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

我决定了！我要全面改变我自己！

不管我将来可以不可以打动你的心，不管你将来会不会爱我，我要改变我自己。让自己变成一个很多女生都想要的男生。我要实现我梦想，我要赚钱，我要改照我的型象！

Lazy type chinese... Anyways~

I dun care if I become a basturd like those I hate in the past, I want to be someone successful, powerful, rich, and perhaps better looking than now.. Even if I have to use low-down methods to make it possible, I WANT TO CHANGE!!

I want to change to someone who people will want to know me, want to be with me, even if its just for my money or looks. I fuck care already! What's the point of staying like now, a useless idiot who always help ppl, when after that, no one even looks at me in the eyes? For what I gave so much to the world and I get nothing back?

I dun mind if there is no direct return, but nth have been well for me now! I helped ppl, I gave ppl encouragement, I try to give ppl hope, I try to be there for ppl... But after I done that, I felt happy for a moment.. So what? They dun even look at me after all these.. I lose friends.. I lose people I can rely on.. I lose ppl I trust.. People so important to me, that I must go through all these trouble to help.. They just turn around and walk away.. Some, even bite me saying I made them feel worse..

I just wanna help.. I just wan them to feel better.. I just want them to know, THE WORLD IS NOT THE END, just because I am here if they need me!! So, when they dun need me, I dun exist.. WTF!

Fine.. I shall not be there from now on.. I am fucking lazy to care so much.. I am a busybody!!

I won't be online for a long time.. Even if I am, most probably during weekends.. ONLY THOSE WHO BOTHER CONTACTING ME, WILL KNOW I AM STILL ALIVE!! Or else, take me as a dead person, out of this world already! Need me, contact me.. Lazy contact me, then TOO BAD!

I am on Off days since Wednesday, till next Tuesday.. But it doesn't feel like an off day at all.. Jio ppl go out, all throw paper planes at me.. FINE! I shall spend my rest of the Off Days, PLANNING FOR MY FUTURE! MY DREAMS! Fuck Friends! Fuck going out! Fuck Enjoyment! FUCK FUN!

I will be staying in Camp From Sundays to Fridays cos of ARMY.. ALL I WANT IS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS cos of my limited freedom soon.. No one bothers.. No one cares.. FUCK IT! U dun wan me, I also dun bother! It's not my loss!!! You people will regret!

*PS: I just wanna love someone, be stable in relationship, live my life with that person, make that person happy even by doing the silliest thing on earth.. I just wanna love you more, IS THAT WRONG?!

Never Say Die - I love Rinko Low

2009-09-14T00:27:00.001-07:00

Posting in english again.. Abit lazy today.. but in Hyper Mood~ Woots~

I saw her blog... And I agree, I cant be dylan.. I am Cun Xi!! Cos me and him kinda alike... I admit it isn't the first time I said I love you, and it isn't the first time I moved on to other girl and back to u... I know I seem like a flirt, like someone u cant trust... I broke ur trust not just once.. It's countless..

It doesn't matter if you don't have feelings for me... All I know is, if I dun try to jio u now, I'll regret in future... This time, I will not change... I know you won't believe, but its ok.. =D

ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS!! No more saying... Do it, Mr FeRdy!! =D

Saw her today.. Believe it or not, it wasn't planned, neither did i purposely waited.. I took bus 18 from Tampines Interchange... The bus was FREAKING SLOW CANS!! Then when reach her house downstairs, I saw bus 21.. Btw, I didn't take 18 cos I wanna see her, cos IT CAME FIRST!! Dun anyhow.. I planned nth.. Fate planned it.. Anyways, I saw 21, then I was like walking slowly.. Then I thought to myself.. She won't be on this bus.. I walked a little faster and looked back again, I saw the bus moved off and SHE WAS CROSSING THE ROAD!! WTF... Idk I should hide or run or stand still... In the end, she saw me.. We exchanged smiles, and then I said hi... Then we chat alittle while waiting for her lift... And then we went separate ways..

I always believe in Fate.. But this is the first time that I met her while we still contacting... Everytime while we are contacting or when we are close, I dun see her on the streets.. but when we stop contacting for awhile, then I see her.. Like fate is playing with me... Today, this is fate... I didnt know her sch ends wad time, she dunno I half day... PLUS, she actually wanna go TM with friend to buy bday present, but she decided to go home study... It really looks like fate to me.. Idk about you...

Maybe I think too much? But I'll think positive... I'll say, this is telling me, my most recent decision is right! I CANNOT GIVE UP!! Last time I have no confidence to jio her, so once she reject me, few months or even weeks later, I jio-ing another girl... Trying to run away from my feelings towards her... I wanna give up on her, cos I no confidence...

This time, I dun care about possibilities, I dun care about confidence.. I only trust Fate, and most of all, the heart that counts.. Fate only allows people to meet and know one another, but its the hardwork, the heart, that makes 2 person possible... I don't believe I am unable to touch her heart... 3 yrs of doing nth is coming to an end!! I'll jio her, till she finds me so irritating... I dun believe we are not possible.. Nothing is impossible without trying.. Possibility is too easy to estimate without trying.. Last time ppl say its impossible for humans to fly.. Now we have aeroplanes..

I WILL TRY MY BEST.. Till the day u accept me, or the day u get married.. Even if I end up like Dylan, who can only watch u get married, giving u all ur blessings, I don't mind... Cos I love you..

我不会放弃的！

2009-09-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

shifu，我只想说，我爱的是你。我不会放弃的！就算我的结果是和Dylan一样，我也要尽我全力去追你！我会尽量打动你的心的！我会等你，不管到天崖海角，不管你拒绝我几次，我都会不停的爱你，直到我看到有一个爱你，你又爱他的人，再到你结婚那天，我才会慢慢的离开。

Shifu，我爱你！<3

我的生日！

2009-09-09T02:10:00.000-07:00

多一个月，十二天就是我的生日了！在十月十七与十八日我将会庆祝我的生日，在白沙渡假村（Pasir Ris CoastaSands Resort）。谁想来请报名喔！！

节目还没安排 xP

希望她有来喔！我要给她一个惊喜！！ >.<

做好人有用吗？

2009-09-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

从小我就告诉我自己，我一定要做一个好人。可是，当好人不容易。被人利
用，被人忽略。我很累。为什么做什么都那么不成功呢？我帮人，又没人帮我。

我知道帮人不求回报，可是这也太｀jialat｀了吧？帮人帮到自己这么
窝囊（nang）！什么都做不好。做人做到最失败的在这世界上我看就只有
我一个了。我只想人家快了，那我呢？我只想要找一个可一和我度过一生的
人，一个可以让我照顾一辈子的人，都那么难找吗？

女人看的不是你人有多好，有多爱她，而是你有多诱人，多帅，她有多爱你。
你对她的爱，根本没有价值。她不爱你，就是不爱你。你不可能能够改变她的
心的。

什么童话，什么台弯偶象剧，什么等待就有希望，什么无会报的付出就有好事，
都是骗人的！！！

我只想要好好的爱一个人。三年了，我已经快崩溃了。爱一个人如果那么痛苦，
为何还要爱呢？

可能是我想太多了吧。这次是我最后一次尝试再去追你，还追不成，就是老天爷
告述我你不是我的命中注定。我就只有放弃了。我会用尽我的全力去追求你。
如果我们不可能的话，在你看到我现在的这些话，马上告述我，好让我不伤得那
么痛。谢谢！

这次不成功的话，你会占时看不到我。不要试着联络我，因为我在用尽我全力把
你给忘记，把我的伤痛疗好。我只能说，我们真的有缘，会再次向遇，再次做一
个很要好的朋友。

谢谢你对我的好。谢谢你给我的快乐。
祝你幸福！我爱你。。。

＊FUCK LOVE＊

华语cool！！！

2009-09-04T04:30:00.000-07:00

从今天起我会以华语来做我的 Blogging。

再多几天，我可能会开一个新的 Blog 来与你分想我对生活所领悟到的道理。

今天就写到这里，下次再聊咯！！

<3

P S : 爱你喔！！

I always think so much.. WHY?!?!

2009-08-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

Haha... I guess I am alright now... I think too much... Maybe I m the same as ur bestie, too sensitive..

Haiishh.... for nth I make myself miserable.. Whatever luhh~

Take care peeps... MIA from blog again till I am pissed or emo again~

Dunno wad to say already.. Again and again this happens

2009-08-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

Don't think so much Ferdy!!

Why? Why must this happen to me? People around me, one by one get tgt... All I can do is envy...

Its nt that I am choosy, in fact, there is nth to choose from...

All those choices I have in my mind aint available now... When I fix on one, that one must disappoint me, and then someone else gets closer to me.. Make me so messed up only..

I want to give up, but is it that simple? If Ah Ha can gimme Wang Qing Shui (a potion to forget love) like how he gave Andy Lau (in his song, Ah Ha gei wo yi bei wang qing shui), life wouldn't be so hard like now...

Love is addictive, love is senseless, love has no reason.. Love, cant be forced.. Is patience even a key to love? Is waiting going to end up fruitful, or will it be an endless wait? No one will know till you find the answer yourself.. People around me tell me, WHY WAIT FOR HER? 3 yrs.. Its not short.. Why waste ur time? Dun give up the forest for a tree! But, I always believed waiting and showing and proving you love that person will touch that person.. But I guess I am wrong..

I think I myself have done more than enough.. I already dunno wad else to do.. Everytime I want to really show my love, the chance will slip off.. Am I waiting too much that I actually miss chances? Am I too impatient? Should I wait even longer? 5 yrs? 10 yrs? maybe till I am 50yrs? or maybe till she gets MARRIED?!?! Or even have children!??!?!?!?!

I dont know anymore... I am just so confused...

Nothing makes sense now.. Nothing proves to me waiting is worth while.. Sometimes, I even wonder if I am even just a friend to you, or just an online, virtual person, whom you can play with and dump one side when u dun need me? Am I not around and visible enough for you to see me? Am I not good enough for u to rmb? Am I not trustworthy enough for you to tell me your troubles? Why is that impt guy not me?

I think guardian angel is outdated.. I shall slowly disappear from your life.. I shall not bother u, cos u matter too much to me, that I couldn't bear you not seeing me around you.. Since I am that unimportant to u, I am no longer visible.. I shall vanish..

Bye, my dearest _____~
Love you~

DO You Know?

2009-08-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

ALL NONSENSE!!

Do you know how much I love you?

Do you know why I can on and off wanna jio you?

Do you know why after so many times of trying and retrying, I still dun give up on you?

Do you know why I care so much?

Do you know why I try so hard to make u happy, but everytime I just failed to do so, but I never stop trying?

Do you know that my mood is always your mood of the day?

Do you know that I wanted to tell you so many times I LOVE YOU, but nothing comes out from my mouth?

Do you know that I was SO determined to make you happy even if I can never be with you with any relationship status?

All I want is to be with you, to make you happy, to help you, to be your Shou Hu Tian Shi.. To watch over you and to make sure your life is a happy one?

All I need is you to smile at me and say "thx FeRdy" and this is the best present for me. All I need is you to be able to open up and tell me what has been bothering u lately.

But sometimes, I think you don't need me. Afterall, I am just a friend you know online. I am not worthy to be so important over ur real life friends.

After so many things that have happened, that I know, you are the one I truly Love... All the songs u like, all the shows u like, all the things u like to do, all times we had together, all the sadness, all the happiness, all the places we went, all the things we did, all the friends we made tgt, all the times where I see u closer to someone else and I gets jealous... I REMEMBER THEM ALL!!!

WHY? All because you are the most important person in this whole world!! I can give up all my friends, all my wants just for u. Though I know u won't do the same. Love is never I do this, you should do it too kinda thing..

But... I just want you to know is, I AM HERE FOR U!! I LOVE YOU!! I just want to see you happy!!

I Love You... ...

**everyday i sit and think, why am i so foolish to have loved someone for 3 yrs, feeling so silly and stupid, waiting for a nevercoming love? why should i cry, why should i emo, why should i even be bothered about someone who will never be mine? I am crazy, mad.... .... dying soon**

Happy Birthday~ (1 day late)

2009-08-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEEPS!!

Today got 3 ppl birthday!!

1 - Boon Hoe, my secondary school very good friend... He is the one that ask me to tune in to 93.3fm and got me interested in DJ-ing... Together with him, Cheng Yao, Geraldine and myself, we started what Cheng Yao named as, CrappyTeens Radio. We used our computer to host the DJ-ing sessions, and we had fun, though we were the only listeners, but what matters is we had fun. Later on, I further expanded CT to CrappyTeens Media and Broadcast Groups, and started CTPod with Jeremy, and i gave up on CT later on. Thanks BH for getting me exposed to MEDIA~ =D

2 - Joel, my secondary school best friend, and my CCA competition mate.. We tried to snatch the post of CSM(Company Sergeant Major), he won, but I become DCSM.. Haha... But still we were good friends.. Thanks bro, for those days~ Had fun though~ =D

3 - Alicia, a godsister I knew from RINKO SHIFU~ Alicia is a cute young girl that I met about 4 years ago.. 3 of us met for the first time at IMM, for the Fei Lun Hai's album signing thingy.. We knew each other from Habbo, but that was the first time we met... Cant forget those days... And recently, I kind of vent my frustration to her.. Thanks for listening to my craps meii!! Stay happy with ur BF uh!!! Shifu and I support u!! Anything must tell us ohh~

Happy birthday to all 3 of you peeps.. 8 yue 15 Zhong Qu Ye~.. LOL.. Lantern festival, but in the chinese calendar's 15th day of the 8th month luhh...

Anyways, STAY HAPPY~ =D

Joel, JIA YOU IN YOUR ARMY!! Sign on 5 yrs.. Haha.. I ORD in 19mths.. U long way luhh...

Boon Hoe, Enjoy all u can, NS COMING FOR U SOON~ haha.. BOTAK!!!

Alicia, TAKE CARE!!! =D

Random Weekly Quote(s)

2009-08-10T02:23:00.001-07:00

Love is not abt how much happier u r with that person, but how much u can sacrifice that happiness just to be with him/her!!

What is love?

2009-08-09T07:23:00.001-07:00

I post about this many times, and I just have to say this again and again, cos everytime, I get a diff answer.. Love hasany meanings. It comes in many forms and types..

Love is a feeling. But we will not be able to confim these kinda feelings till we fin out the answers ourselves.. And one way, is to ask... Ask and affirm that you love someone.. Bring out that courage to tell him/her about how u feel.. Only when u ask, and from the reaction of that person that u will know if you are true abt that love.. And only when u can show the love to the person, that u can know for urself if you really truly love him/her..

So, I would really encourage you peeps to voice out your feelings, so he/she would know, and so you urself would know.. Keeping it to urself will only leave u regret.. Even if you are rejected, at least u know u truly love him/her... And that you yourself know the answer too!! =D

Even if he/she has someone in his/her mind or by his/her side, he/she should also have the rights to know all these too.. Dun be afraid of being the third party.. U can't b a third party unless he/she allow u to do so!!! U are NOT THE MAIN cause to a triangle of love..

Take care peeps, and may you find your true love soon!!

Good News

2009-07-10T21:30:00.001-07:00

hey!!

Back to blog, for once...

I passed my Highway Code on first Attempt.. which many failed usually!!! i scored 48/50, one of the 4 top scorers who have the same scores!!!

Happy sia... and cos of that, instead of going home at 2pm, i go home at 9pm!

Woots~

Anyways, many things happen... HS.. Dun wan say... haha... not my business le..

My campmate broke up with gf.. same as me in the past... His gf go overseas, come back, change mindset... not his first time also... He kena wear greenhat... swehh

Had a new Gan... haha... Gan-HB... dun ask why HB.. I wont explain.. =D

In the month of June, 4 of my close meiis, and my nuer, got stead.. kao... Haha.. I still single... sadded...

LOL!!!

Heck luhh.. Life goes on.. Kai Xin Jiu Hao~

I am gonna aim to get my military license within 60days... which is also about 8.5 weeks... JIA YOU!!!!!!!

Lost hope already

2009-06-03T04:18:00.001-07:00

I already lost hope of alot of things.. But this will not affect me in terms of my dreams!!!

I guess I am not fated for any relationship for now... While I still don't lose hope, I shall not try to get into one either...

FeRdy!!! Concentrate on NS and your dreams!!! Along your dreams, I am sure you will meet more girls!!!

I guess I can be a good kor, good daddy, but never a good bf, a good laogong... People like me will always stand minimal chances to be in a relationship.. Let's just say, 男人不坏，女人不爱...

Haha!!! Better luck next time!!!

Cya peeps.. I going BMT on the 8th... Out on 16 September... Will miss u peeps!!! <3

---
Oh!! And I'll still be waiting for u!! For now, let's remain as the bestest best friend!! Para-addicts!! Nuer and Daddy~
We shall NEVER lose contact anymore ok? Love u!!

My New Favourite Emo Song

2009-05-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

萧敬腾-奋不顾身
作词:邬裕康
作曲:曹格

大雨像下了一世纪
我用手臂撑起屋顶
曾经你就在我怀里让我风平雨停
我好想你

我是沉默的行星
移动都以你为中心
只是未世一来临一切化为灰烬
都回不去

我用我的生命爱你
不让尖锐的世界伤害你
不懂花言巧语的人
"我爱你"往往来不及证明

我用我的生命爱你
忘记自己也毫不留情
爱一个人奋不顾身
喔辛苦也觉得平静

时间是唯一的线索
印证我没说的承诺
当我放开你的手如果有点振动
不是发抖

我用我的生命爱你
不让尖锐的世界伤害你
不懂花言巧语的人
"我爱你"往往来不及证明

我用我的生命爱你
忘记自己也毫不留情
爱一个人奋不顾身
喔辛苦也觉得平静

穿过巨大的伤口
我找到当时的温柔
有始有终就算收获
我从不在乎心痛

我用我的生命爱你
不让尖锐的世界伤害你
不懂花言巧语的人
"我爱你"往往来不及证明

我用我的生命爱你
忘记自己也毫不留情
爱一个人奋不顾身
喔辛苦也觉得平静
我甘心因为我愿意

---

Chorus Translation:

I love you with all my life
Never to let the vicious world hurt you
People like me who do not know sweet talking
Usually are unable to say prove that "I love You"

I love you with all my life
Forgetting about myself without mercy
Loving someone is selfless
Oh~ Though hurtful and tiring but its all worth it

Last line:
I am willing, because you are worth it

Never gonna let you change back!

2009-05-31T11:07:00.001-07:00

No matter what, no matter how, I m NOT going to let you change back to ur old self..

If there is a need to, I'll appear right in front of you to stop u!!

As a daddy, I have the resposibility to change u for u better.. No matter how I am gonna do it, I will do it!! Because you are my Nuer! And because I love u!

I can stop myself from doing all the bad things I am doing, just to be a good influence to u if ever there is a need to..

But no matter what now, I will not try to stop u in anything u do, but support u in the background.. And to appear only when u ask me to...

All I want to say is, I love you for who u r, but I do not wish to see u back to ur old self anymore.. I hope you learnt your lesson, and I trust u will not let anyone or anything affect u to become ur old self again..

I wont give up, but i wont bother u about this either.. Just remember i am always here if u ever need ne.. All the best in ur new relationship, stay happy forever... As I always say to ppl, Zuo ren kai xin jiu hao... <3

I'll be waiting

2009-05-30T17:49:00.001-07:00

3yrs 3months and finally we reunited... I duno why but I serious have a strong feelings towards you..

I know that for sure, since we have not met for a long time, my chances will be almost 0.. But still, I won't give up.. Time is what we both need, but the fact that u r in girls home, I am in NS made it even more impossible to spend time together..

And since it is like that, all I can do is to wait, and spend even the slightest amount of time together.. I am not afraid of rejection.. I hve been reject thousands of times (not so many, bymut just too many to count)..

I belive that when there is a will, there is a way.. When you try your best, god will handle the rest.. Al these just needs time..

Since I have already waited 3yrs for this reunion, I can wait another few years for that chance.. Time is not a problem for me.. What matters is the time we can spend together.. I will cherish any moment together..

An even if u get a bf, I will bless you 2 and continue waiting.. The only way I will give up is when I see 2 of u really good and that u get married to that perfect guy, I'll move off into the shadows, where u might never see me ever again..

Life is full of choices.. Some of it, requires effort, requires time.. Some takes 1 yr, some 10yrs, some even your whole life to strive for it.. But whatever are the chances, I am not giving up..

I will wait... Waiting for the time to come.. I love you...

100 Sorry(s) - Translated by Ferdinand Lim - Singaporean Version

2009-04-15T05:24:00.000-07:00

-- 100 Sorrys (Singapore English Version, Translated by Ferdinand Lim) --

Today is our Mid year Exams, school ended a little earlier, so I decided to call him.

:Hi, I am off early today, want to come and fetch me home?

:okok, wait for me for about 5 mins.

:5mins? Okay. I'll be at the side gate.

:Ok. Cos I have to dress up abit mah.

:Ok luh, faster abit k?

:ok.

It's 2pm, the sun is so strong that my nose feels like it is going to bleed soon. Standing under a tree, using my hands to fan myself. Although it isn't really helping, but at least it's better than nothing.

5 mins passed and he is not even visible anywhere. Looking at my watch, I get a little impatient. 10 mins passed, still no sign of him.

:Could he have forgotten about me and not coming?

15mins later, finally he is here.

:Why so slow?

He looks like he doesn't really seem to care much and said: nothing luh. Watching TV

:What?!? Watch TV? Why not you just sleep awhile, and have your lunch then come?

I didn't say anything, didn't put on the helmet, and didn't get on the bike, staring hard at him.

:Sorry

This is the FIRST time he said sorry. He doesn't say sorry at all to anyone. He is to proud to say that. But he said that to me. Looking a little shock, I accepted the apology and got on the bike home.

He is always like that. Doesn't explain, doesn't argue, doesn't quarrel, just say "Sorry" all the time. Somethings can't be covered up with just "Sorry", but since he apologised, I accepted it. He said, I am the first that he EVER said sorry to.

Owning up to your mistakes takes a great deal of courage, but he NEVER improved, saying Sorry becomes like a way to avoid everything.

When he actually said sorry for the 59th time, I teared, lowered my head and said: You don't say sorry to me. If you CANNOT CHANGE, don't come and say sorry again and again, and expect me to forgive you, thinking that you will change!

He hugged me gently and said the 60th time: I am Sorry

Despite of this, he have never ever changed, never explained. I start to suspect if he is even serious about me, that he have anything hiding from me.

:What is wrong with you lately?

:Nothing luh.

:Then why are you always so down?

:No luh. Where got?

:No again? Other than no and nothing, what else can you say? Do you even know how worried I am about you? How insecure I am with you? Have you EVER treat me as you girlfriend?

:I... am.. Sorry

:I DON'T WANT ANOTHER SORRY!

I hang up the call. He never call back either. He doesn't even care! Maybe we should end this relationship... ... This is the 99th time he said SORRY!

That day on, I never called him. He never called me either. Sometimes, I will receive some weird, silent call, and I will just "Hello Hello" for a few times and hang up. Somehow, I have a feeling it's him. But why isn't he talking?!?

A month passed, I couldn't resist it anymore and went to his school to look for him. Looking into his classroom, searching for him, but there is no sign of him. I then grab a classmate of his and ask.

:Hey, have you seen Meng Wei? Is he here today?

:He dropped out.

:HUH?!? WHY?!?! WHEN WAS THAT?

:About a month ago.

:OH~ Thanks. A month. ONE MONTH! WHERE COULD HE BE?!

I walked home, lifelessly, banging into everything and everyone around me. My life seems to have ended! I decided to call him: Please leave a message after the tone...

I hang up and called his house instead. It rang for what seems to be ages. How come no one is answering? He migrated? Moved house? He seemed to have vanished into thin air without a trace!

Could he have found a new love? My mind start to wander. I can't find him!

While my mind is in a mess, my phone rang. It's from Ah Li~ He is Meng Wei's best friend.

:Hey, what are you doing?

:Huh?

:Ah Wei is in the hospital!

:REALLY?!?! WHAT HAPPENED?

:Nothing much luhh. He is at SGH, the one you stayed that time.

:OK!! I'll cab down now!

Almost immediately, I rush down to the hospital at a speed I have NEVER EVER rushed. At the hospital, I saw her family. I greeted them and asked which ward is he in and rushed there.

He is lying on the bed, eyes staring at me. He said nothing. Neither did he got out of the bed.

:OI! What happened to you? Why didn't you inform me?!?

He didn't answer. He just keeps on staring at me with the same expression.

:ANSWER ME!!! WHY AIN'T YOU TALKING?

He teared, and seemed to use a lot of strength just to say

:I... AM.... S..Sorry~

After he finished, his eyes closed.

:OI!!! STOP PLAYING!! STOP ACTING!! WHY SORRY?!!? TELL ME!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?! WHY SORRY!?!? ANSWER ME!! OII!!!!

I cried beside his bed, holding his shirt and shouted

:WHY SORRY? YOU ARE NOT EVEN TRYING TO CONVINCE ME!! I WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU THIS TIME!! YOU WAKE UP NOW!! SORRY NO CURE!! I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU UNLESS YOU EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON!!... please... wake.. up... .. please~

This... is his 100th Sorry. At this moment, a group of nurses are pulling me away, trying to save him. My whole body is so weak. I can't even stand. My mind went totally blank. Everything is... just too sudden...

But... He never left this world. He just lived in my heart. Occassionally, he appears in my dream, telling me how has he been. He will smile at me, calling my name, and calling me dear. Just.. no more Sorries. Never again.

A few months later, his mum called me and asked to meet me to pass me a box. In the box, I found 100 pictures. On every piece of picture, writes all the things he is angry with.

First picture:

Sorry dear, I didn't mean to be late. I know my reason is lousy, so I didn't tell you. I went out of the door and my heart start to ache.. I already tried to rush.. Forgive me dear?

Second Picture:

Sorry dear, I... ... ...

Third Picture:

Sorry dear, I.... .. ...

...

One Hundredth Picture:

Dear, I never intended to leave you. But God just don't wanna give me this one chance to love you forever, to put on the ring for you. But you are the first girl I have EVER said sorry to, and also the first girl I ever wanna spend my life forever with. Forgive me for not being able to take care of you forever. I will become your guardian angel, to love you, to watch over you, and to bless you with all the happiness and love. Promise me never to cry. I don't want to see you like this. Smile alright? Your dear, Meng Wei. I love you! Bye

How could I have not cried? Your request is too crazy. The last picture is taken in the hospital, with his wonderful smile. He looked so skinny, face so pale, but he still tried to smile for this 100th photo.

At his weakest point of life, I am not with him. Sorry dear~ I hugged the picture, cried all my hearts out.

To all those lovers in this world: Do not take for granted of those love ones around you, and regret only when you start to lose them... I really don't want to see another Sad Story arising. May all the couples in this world have all the happiness in the world! <3

Why am I feeling like this?

2009-04-12T08:18:00.000-07:00

Back to blogging.. tot i wont be doing this cos I am in NS now... But yea... Decided to blog today cos something happened..

Whole day I slack at home, then i also called and talk to my Laopo... Its her bday today... HAPPY BDAY LAOPO!! <3

Ok, to clear the air, my laopo is my gan laopo.. NOT GF!! Dun anyhow...

Alot of times, though I actually wished those girls I like is my GF, but ya, they aint... so ya... Accept this fact for me k?

Saw Shifu just now while on the phone with laopo and cycling... She was shock to see me.. Think cos I look damn different.. But think, more of didnt expect me to see her? I dunno.. Somehow, I think she is avoiding me.. Tagged her blog only reply "oO" to me, sms no reply, call no answer (though she seldom answer unless we are meeting), MSN ALSO NO REPLY.. To me, I assume its ignoring.. Though just now I waved at her, she waved back luhh.. At least not so dao....

I REALLY MISS SHIFU... Thank God for allowing me to see her...

Most people in my God Family is IMPORTANT to me, but yet, they don't think I am as important... They just start to ignore me and disown me like its such an easy thing to do... Well, it is... But the fact that me not even WORTH A THING makes me damn sad..

I cried alot of times when people leave my God Family... And I did cry for my Gan NuEr (goddaughter) and my shifu... I really dun wan lose them... I really dun want them to leave my circle of friends.. They are important people.. I dont understand.. We were so close last time, why everything change in just a flick of a finger?

Why do people change hearts so easily? Why do people treat friends like JUNK? Friends are people u spend ur life with... Though its mostly ever changing, and that people always believe there is NO FOREVER FRIENDS, but I personally think that we should all take the effort to treasure EVERY FRIEND we have... Because they are those who made ur life colourful.. They are those that surround you, cheer u up, have fun with u etc...

Its not about much much money or time spent on them that I am sad about, but it is seriously the memories that will never fade... They are, as far as I have lived, still fresh in my mind... They are those people that I wanna spend my life having fun with... And I mean having fun... I dont wanna just lose friends like that....

You can say that I am a weakling, and the world has so many people, why must I feel sad about one person leaving? But to me, EVERYONE MATTERS... Losing a friend is like losing the world..

As what a popular saying says: You might be one person in the world to you, but to that person you are the world! And I am serious... Being with different friends, I am living in a different world.. I act differently, speak differently, play differently, treat them differently.. They are all different worlds to me... To me, they are a world of a whole new fun~

So why? Why do the closest people around me leave me just like that? Do I not worth even a single shit to them?

I am not trying to be emo here, but I just wanna say, EVERYONE OF YOU READING THIS MATTERS!! You are my friend, and you are my world.. You are the dearest person I ever had..

Shifu, if you reading this, I really hope to be close to u again.. Cos you are the bestest best girl-friend I had... There is ABSOLUTELY NO GIRL that can replace you as my shifu.. Cos you are more lame than me, cos you are cute, cos you are the one and only RINKO in this world! Though you are not my girlfriend, and most probably won't agree to be mine, but you ARE the BEST GIRL-FRIEND I EVER HAD.. The closest and the one that I trust and love... I really hope we can be like last time...

I dun wanna lose anymore friends, especially close ones like shifu... Its bad enough my love life is sucky, I dun wan my friendship to end up the same...

---

Now I actually understands why so many people prefer not to be loyal... Cos its so hard.. So hard to let go when the other party isn't... This includes Friends, BGR, etc... I just wan a bunch of friends that I can be super close to... But people just keep leaving me like I am a worthless piece of shit..

I don't need love... I just want loyal friends, and I am satisfied..

Last post before NS

2009-03-03T00:39:00.001-08:00

Omg!! NS is next Thursday!! Ahhhhhhhh...

LOL.. Ok luhhh.. I am ready mental, but i guess not physically yet... Zzz

Anyways, why is fate treating me like. Wth!!!

I was so close to 2 girls, and after awhile, they chose to ignore me totally... I can never make any true friends (females)... First is Jacinda, then she ignores me... Now, Rinko (Shifu) T.T

WTF luhh.. I feel so stupid to treat them so well, and in the end can't even get a lasting friendship... Tried contacting them, but they chose to ignore me...

I really dunno wad to do, or what I did wrong.. No explanation, nothing... They just chose to ignore me totally!

Now, all I wish and hop is both of them to be fine... Hope they can stay happy... =\

Haiishh... NS, my restart button.. Go in and brainwash myself, start a new life...

Back once again~

2009-01-23T03:03:00.000-08:00

Woots~

Chinese New Year is coming! Woots~

Next up, another Valentines. Haha...

Whatever it is, NS is next, so it doesn't really matter.. =D

Ouh... as for the spammer, thanks for visiting my blog daily and tagging... Thanks for the hardwork of typing all those words... its touching to know someone cares what kind of people I am.. =D

As for those who helped me, its ok.. Thanks to you peeps too!!

Just wanna say, dun waste time on my blog, i seldom even come here anymore... Best is scold me on MSN, since u have my MSN account... Haha...

Lets just say, scold all you want.. Blogs, to me, is either a place to leave memories (i've seen VERY nice blogs before, with loads of photos etc..) OR to vent your frustrations and anger.. So come'on and scold all you like..

I am glad my blog is able to help you err.. de'stress? haha!!

Good luck to everyone! May it be New Sec Sch life, Os, Ns, As, New Poly life etc.. Or those who are like me, and many of my friends, NS!!

Woots~ NS ROCKS!! though its lesser freedom, but well, its good for us! =D

Its TRAINING TIME~ <3

Alright peeps, time to move on in life.. All the best! Do stay in touch yea? =D

Love love love

2008-12-19T13:21:00.001-08:00

Wow.. So long never post le.. It's either I am busy it I am lazy.. Wadeva zy it is, I m here to post again

Haiishh.. Love have many theory.. And ever since I step into relaionships, my view of love keeps piling up.. Hearing stories, experiencing, seeing etc.. The 'knowledge' just keeps adding...

And soon after, I start seeing the bad side of true love...

Many youngsters go into relationships not understanding wad is love.. They blindly believe wad they deem as "love at first sight"... I see this girl chio/I see this guy cute, I like her/him... It's as though love is just "I like your appearance"...

Many only notice what is the true 'must haves' in love at a later age, which by then, they might be hurt deeply.. One of such 'must haves' is, understanding... Manyatimes, youngsters get together without understanding about one another.. This is where dating comes in... You go out with each other, either in groups or one-to-one, and have fun... Only true fun, you can see one's true self.. Cos otherwise, it's just an act.. The "I must be presentable in front of her/her" comes.. In the end, everything is staged...

Understanding is the KEY to true relationships as you MUST be able to know each other well to do the right thing together.. Say for example: give the right surprises... You do not want to give the wrong flower, whereby in the end that girl might hate that flower or worse, be allergic to it...

Next is trust.. Couples argue most of the time, especially when jealousness steps in is mainly because he/she don't trust the other party... If I m suppose to trust my gf, I wouldn't mind her talking or going out with other guys, cos I can trust her enough to not betray the love... Some sort like that...

To me, love is like a game.. A game that you r not the player, but one of the chips.. The game plays you... When it's happy, u meet... When it's happier, u become good friends and get close... When it's even happier, u get together... If not, even if u are willing to DIE for that girl/guy, both of you can NEVER get together... But after that, u r on your own...

Getting together might be hard.. It takes courage, a little bit of trust, and whole lot of luck... But maintaining it is harder... It takes skills, a whole lot of understanding and trust, and many of communications.. That, is what the current youngsters lacks...

But as some of you might know, the hardest us yet, to forget a true love... As some might say.. It takes a sec to like you, an hour to love you, a day to get close to you, a week or so to jio you, but a whole life to forget you... It's not easy...

Now, what is true love to me, you might ask... True love is when someone loves another person sooooo much, he/she is willing to give almost anything to her/him... It is when being with him/her is the Happiest days of his/her life... And when he/she can trust her/him soooo much that if ever he/she jumps off a cliff, he/she know she/he will be there to catch him/her...

Love is a strange subject.. You can never fully understand it even if u have been through it the whole life x100...

Nowadays, love is like a lie... Everyone says "I love you"... But not everyone mean it... Maybe they do for that moment, but loving is NOT as simple as just saying 3 words (though it seems to already be hard to say those 3 words), it requires a lot of acceptance and tolerance... You must FIRST accept the person for who he/she is, and not say, I want her/him to become like this, think like this, or even walk like this... He/she is what he/she is... Changing that fact will just make him/her not him/her anymore... Second is tolerance... It's not easy to tolerate someone especially he/she is different from you... In terms of thinking, family background, kinds of friends, character and many more...

If love is such an easy task, people will not be DYING to love... Including DYING for the sake of LOVE...

Drama as it is, true as it seems...

All these I have said, is LOVE in my eye... Good or bad, it's up to you... Getting hurt is the last thing you want to happen to you.. think wisely before you start a relationship.. Or you will be played by the game called "LOVE"...

At the end of this, I just want to say... No matter how much you change, you are still you.. I love you for who you are, and I will tolerate all your "nonsense"... I duno if u know who I m referring to, but I love you last time, and I still do now.. I won't force you to change, and I won't tell you those 3 words.. It's nicely kept in my heart, till one day you discover who truly loves you.

Just be yourself, cos that's the true you!!!

With LOVE,
FeRdy

Going Malaysia tomorrow.. Omg

2008-12-08T02:26:00.001-08:00

Haha.. Tml gg Malaysia le.. So fast... Anything call my Skype.. =D

Now at Tampines Mall topping up my malaysia number.. K luh.. That's all bye

Wahh...

2008-11-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

tired and sick siolll... LOL

Haiishh.. Just handed over HS to FOug, then alone is back.. OMG!!

Tired luhh... So many things to past down, then need to meet up with some of them soon to get songs, so that I can DJ and host shows~

Sicked ever since Thursday sia!! Now much better...

I miss alot of ppl!! The Whatevers (HAVENT SEEN THEM FOR AGES, except situ), shifu, omg... I am out of ppl... Is my life that pathetic? So little friends to miss? HAHA!!

IDK man..

I just wish I can meet all of you!!!

Now, waiting for iPhone Firmware 2.2 to be out. Heard its quite nice. Hopefully, my iPhone can do more things..

Haha...

AHHH!!! Out of things to say~

Last friday went out with shifu to movie. WAHHH SWEHHH, saw my bbt shop boss sia!! WTHeck~ Now he thinks shifu my gf... I also wish luhh, but not possible bahh... =x

Haiishhhhhhhhhhh... sibei siianzzzz....

Situ uh situ.. Jia you with that "dream girl" you jio-ing hor! I hope you succeed, dun fail like me... But I know you very pro de luhs.. Plus u so shuai, even reen also say u shuaige le.. Alot of ppl say u quite shuai lo... So your chance is much higher than me.. HAHA!!

I want change blog song.. ok.. I'll change it after i finish this post! =D

So bored

2008-11-02T00:54:00.001-07:00

Wahhhhh sibei bored!!! I wan go out!! I wan watch movie!!!!! Got abt 3 movies I haven watch!! Include HSM!!! T.T

Somebody go watch with me!!!

Last time exam all not free.. Now holidy all working!!! What shit is this!?!?!

Haiishhhhh.... Most prob tml I go watch movie... Dun care le.. Anyways not first time watch movie alone...

So many things happened.. Dun even wish to talk abt it anymore...

Zzzz.. Working now.. Use iPhone to blog.. Found a programme MUCH BETTER than the previous one... Muahahaha...

Now raining.. No Cust.. Super siianzz...

Btw, if u wanna reach me, u can call my online number at 3106 2253.. It calls my Skype.. If I not online of never answer, it will divert to my hp.. If still no answer divert to my Skype voice mail.. So no matter what, u sure can find me de..

I love this singer!

2008-10-30T09:36:00.001-07:00

OMG, HE IS GAY!!

SERIOUS!!! WATCH THE FOLLOWING, U SURE AGREE WITH ME ONE!!

WTF SIA!! But his voice very power!! Guy and girl voice he can sing... T.T

I WAN HIS VOICE!!!!!!!!! The last one is PRO!!! The timing very nice sia~

Not As Bad!

2008-10-21T22:05:00.001-07:00

Well... It's not as bad as I thought yesterday.. Though no one was free... Initial Kbox and dinner was cancelled, but well, managed to go ktv... All thanks to Max!!

It was fun... Left home at 1.30... B4 that, at 1, I smsed alot of ppl to ask if anyone free to accompany me to Kbox... But all not free.. So, I went to library... YES! Tampines Regional Library... Went to read up on media... Then Max replied... And she found a whole bunch of friends to celebrate my birthday for me! Thanks... Max, Jovie, Jieyun, Jieyun's sister, Jieyun's friend, Max GF and her friend... It's fun... Thanks for the last minute birthday 'celebration'... It's super fun!! =D

Met Max and Jieyun at about 6... Waited
For Jieyun's sister and Jovie and Jieyun's Friend and left for bedok... We were SUPER LATE! 1 hr late... Sang from 8 and left for home at 10.30... Jieyun's friend left first... Then Max's GF came... Then left also.. Then at 10.30, Max, Jovie and I left, leaving Jieyun and her sister.. Sorry to PS u...

Anyway, hope to have dinner with the whatevers soon! Whether or not it's for my birthday, it doesn't matter... I just miss u guys!!!

Last but not least, thanks all those who spent 5 cents to send me an SMS to wish me... And those 2 ppl who called me to wish me, including bomb!!! Thanks bro!!!!! =D

Also, thanks for ALL the Friendster Comments!!! Thanks to all of you!!

T.T **touched**
Love you guys!!!

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It's Here

2008-10-20T10:14:00.001-07:00

Once again, my bday is here.. But it gonna be a boring one... Cos tml no programmes.. Haiish...

Anyways, I miss my bday in 2006... I still have the neoprints... Thx guyss... It's so memorable that it can't be forgotten!!!

Haiishh.. Hopefully next yr, my army campmates will celebrate for me...

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I love October!

2008-10-07T00:35:00.000-07:00

Heh heh.... Back to post on blogger previously use HP post...

Firstly, Happy Birthday JIEYI!! =D
Must stay happy oh...

Anyways, I found out I prepared something same as what your friend gave you, so I am going to change a pressie.. Haven thought of anything, but I have only 3 days, or rather 2 days, to buy the pressie...

So many ppl bday in Oct..
7th - JIEYI
10th - Jie, Rachel, Regene
20th - Sheryldine
21st - ME, Karen meii, Cynthia GF

OMG SIA!!! I am so broke!! T.T My bday still need give 2 more pressie!! zzzz

Anyways, OCTOBER BABIES ROCKS!!! STAY HAPPY PEOPLE!!! =D

lalala... Out of this to post... Now, I NEED DO DESPERATE PRESSIE SHOPPING!!! OMG! I have not enough $$... WTF!!! T.T
Help?

Thank You People~

2008-10-05T03:08:00.001-07:00

Thanks people... Those who cared and encouraged me last night.. I was super emo... But well, I always feel better the next day.. So dun need to worry de =D

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I Miss Herr... alot

2008-10-04T07:52:00.001-07:00

I dunno why, but I miss her.. It's been so long.. I dun even know how long it has has been without her in my life.. I never had the courage to tell her anything... 9 months after she left, I tot I have got over her, but I guess, I didn't...

I dun expect her to return, cos I know it is impossible already... I try to find others but none of them seems to be able to replace her.. None...
It's hard, but I know I have to let her go.. Sooner or later...

It's so confusing... I dun even know what I am doing now...

All I want, is to say a last time, those 3 words... But I just can't..

Anyways, I am going into NS soon.. So now is not the time to go into relationships... But in case in future, I regret, I just wanna let her know, I love her... And I have always did... I know nth will come out of this, but I just wanna say it out...

-----

All the songs I chose speaks my mind
As what I have always hope,
For you to be mine
Again...

If I can turn back time
I will never leave u behind
Never will I let you go
Again...

Now life is so confusing
Everyday I try to find
Some emo songs to sing

Though you will never come back
I will love you alot
Even if you threaten to break my neck

I never think you will return
Or hope that life will give me my turn
But I just wanna tell you how I feel
Telling you, I still love you

-----

Life is full of regrets...
Cherish those u love and never let them go...
Before you ever regret...

Time passes by and will NEVER RETURN!!!
So cherish them, and every moment!!!

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Bored

2008-09-29T00:06:00.001-07:00

siian luhhs....

nothing to do... everyone exam... lol...

JIA YOU!!! Ns and EOY Exams ppl!!! =D

nth to say.. bye

Nothing much

2008-09-26T11:42:00.001-07:00

nothing much.. just here to post this:

Lets101 Quizzes - fun Myspace quiz

Lets101 Quizzes - Fun quizzes for blog & myspace

Addictive content in my personality is 85%

Beware!!! people easily get addicted to me

Lets101 Quizzes - Blog Quizzes

Why Am I So Sad?

2008-09-17T21:27:00.001-07:00

Haiish... Dunno why, nowadays like very emo.. Then everytime wake up my eyes is wet de.... Machsm I cried in my slp... Dun think is cos of my dream.. My dream fun look sad... At least not this time round...

Haiish... Most of the time I tend to fall on love with people that is impossible to be with... Sadded...

What is love anyway? I dunno anymore.. Now, ppl ask me for comment abt their relationships, I dunno how to answer...

Haiish... I'll end here.. Later gg work... Byyye

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Troubledsoul

2008-09-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

Hmms.. Not sure if I should rename my Blog URL.. LOL~ To TROUBLEDSOUL!!

Nowadays, I have so many things in my mind. HS, SY, R/s etc... Tiring... I feel like going on a holiday, go to the beach, and not think about anything anymore...

The main reason why I wanna start SY is to prove something to ppl around me... When I realised that, I suddenly not really into the mood to do SY things... ZZZ... but I dragged Alex in already, so cannot PS him... CANNOT!! I am not Dreamze!! I dun leave my ideas to people and PS them...

ZZZ... This world is full of stress... UNLESS you found a perfect / near perfect someone to share your problems with... But well, in most r/s, it just adds into your PROBLEMS!! LOL!! its a fact no one can change luhh.. Accept it people~

Hahas.. Somehow, I hope I can be the Optimistic person like last time... Stress-free, relaxed...

Haiishh.. Sadded... T.T

Tired~

2008-09-09T17:26:00.000-07:00

Wah wah wah~!!

Long time no post le..

Well, I changed my blogskin, then MIA from blogger again...

Last night did alot of HS stuffs, then GEH KIANG go touch the Forum... Now the Forum got prob... Last hope is Yong Shun got backup, if not i die!!

Just now went to jog... WAH.. SHIOK!!!

Tomorrow jogging again!!

Later gg work.. hahas... lalalas... Life rocks~

k luhhs, duno wad to post le... btw u all 2, PLEASE STOP DRAGGING ME AND HER TGT! I DUN LIKE HER!!! I at most take her as my Godsis!!!

LOL~

k luhs... tired... rest awhile, dun think will sleep bahh.. after work can sleep all I wan!!

tag hor! dun view and run! =D

Testing

2008-09-04T08:48:00.001-07:00

Test test

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A Lame Day at Trybe Office - 26 Aug 08

2008-08-30T11:57:00.000-07:00

Well, on 26th Aug, I met Dreamze and Beiling at Trybe center for a round of Board (bored) games... But before the game, we lamed abit and played with uno stackos.. This is the product (some lame videos):

I know its lame, but we were bored... Btw, here u go... Videos uploaded... ENJOY~

going jobless soon

2008-08-22T22:16:00.000-07:00

I am gonna be jobless soon~

Boss say, from now till end of sept, most prob you will work for Sat, Sun and one weekday at most...
No $$ so spend le... All the money will be used for SoupYouth ONLY! Sad life luhhs..

Anyways, I am now so free, free to plan SoupYouth, free to chat, free to go out, free to do alot of things, including emo-ing...

Nowadays, I emo again.. HAHA!! But not as frequent as last time... Aiyyahh... forget it... Wads the point... Right?

Hahaha...

Ok, no link luhhs... Too random le... SIANZ!!!!

Anyways, this blog will not contain my troubles... Lets talk about happy things...

Well, last friday went out with shifu (abit late to post now), went to Tamp Central... Walked to KFC, eat dinner, then go walk walk.... Played Para (long time no play le)... Then walk walk lo... Then 9+ met dreamze, then went to cycle cycle... Took some picts... Got time then post luhhs.. Lazy now..

Then sit at playground chat chat.... hahas...

At TM, cos we at minitoons, then I still slowly seeing things, shifu hold my wrist to pull me out of the shop... Then my friend just nice walk pass... HE SAW WE "HOLD HANDS"... Shitt... I also wish luhhs, but it is nt like this.. hahas..

Then about 11 go home... hahas.... Had fun luhhs.. with shifu, sure have fun de!!

Then Monday, met reen and mao to discuss about HS... Went to Marina Square Mac... After that go Pool and Arcade (i think got pool bahh, cant rmb)... Then play para... Then eat dinner... Forgot the place... Then I gotta rush off to Taekwondo, so left first.... PS hor, have to ps u 2... =x

Then ya... Thats monday... Then thursday went to meet foug.. Discuss about SY at Toa Payoh Mac (Mac again).... Then finish le, go the upstairs play pool (pool again?).... That pool is fun de lor.. It is so slippery (i mean the table).... U hit too soft cannot play, hit too hard, the white ball go in together =.= Nonsense lehh!!

Then yesterday go my cousin's ROM... hahas... His wife's cousins so chio lor! =x

LOL =x

Ya... then today, nth le...

Boring week hor? meet ppl, eat mac, play pool... whole week lidat not sian uhs?!!?!

LOL~

That's all for today... Dunno when will post again... Tata!! <3

Trying to forget about love...

siian~

2008-08-15T00:22:00.000-07:00

WAHH~

I am back to BLOGGIIE!!!!

Ok luhhhs.... todays actual plan is 11.30 meet foug at NYP Library, 3.30 meet Kieran at Aljunied, 7.00 meet shifu for dinner... BUT KAO!!! ALL MESSED UP!!

First, I woke up at 11... So cant make it on time to meet foug.. =.=

Then I called Kieran, he said the Jamming shift to Evening.. So I ask shifu if can meet earlier... BUT SHE CANT!!

Now, I slacking at home chatting with joyce meii... SIIANZ!!

Lol... chat with her always will like a crazy idiot, giggle and laugh infront of comp... =.=

Watashiwa BakaFeRdy Desu... I am StupidFeRdy... HAHA!! Suits me..

Meii called me dumb... LOL!! U also luhhs~

ouh ya.. Then tonight I gotta choose between Shifu and Kieran... T.T

I wan Jamming!! But I already promise shifu for dinner.... She is alone de lor.. Kieran got other ppl, so I think I rather PS Kieran.. =x Sorry bro..

Ehhh... lalala... dun anyhow think!

byebye~

New Blog Song

2008-08-13T20:53:00.001-07:00

吴忠明元若蓝-心愿便利贴
词:陈静楠作曲:方文良
唱片-命中注定我爱你电视原声带

一天一天贴近你的心
你开心我关心

一点一滴我都能感应
你是我最美的相信

等不到双子座流星雨洒满天际
先点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金
看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存满满的心愿
便利贴贴成无限
就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的预言我的天通通应验
你和我的心愿
便利贴贴心里面
收集感动给以后怀念

吴忠明元若蓝-心愿便利贴

等不到双子座流星雨洒满天际
先点燃九支仙女棒代替

最灿烂不一定要许多钻石黄金
看你眼睛有幸福的倒影

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存满满的心愿
便利贴贴成无限
就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的预言我的天通通应验
你和我的心愿
便利贴贴心里面
收集感动给以后怀念

daladala......

吴忠明元若蓝-心愿便利贴

把你的讨厌宅急便送到天边
平凡的傻事用了心变成经典
存满满的心愿
便利贴贴成无限
就是我们最富有的宣言

把你的喜欢每一天复习两遍
惊喜的预言都为你提早应验
你和我的心愿
便利贴贴心里面
收集感动给以后怀念

一天一天贴近你的心
一点一滴我都能感应
你是最美的相信

Long ride~

2008-08-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

Hey peepooohhh~

I am back on my bloggiie!!

Guess wad I did today?

Ok, story time~

slept till 11, then watch La Bi Xiao Xin till 12.30, DJ till 3, then continue my La Bi Xiao Xin while playing nonstop on Mix Radio till 4, then slack awhile.... Decided to go cycling at 5.55...

Cycle cycle, then hmmm.. I WAN GO HOUGANG!!! (suddenly decided, I also dunno why)

So, I cycled to Ave 9, then Ave 10, then go through Old Tampines Road, and TADA!! HOUGANG NEW TOWN!!

Then think, ehh? 72... I WAN GO YIO CHU KANG!!! Called Situ see if he free... haha... he is... so yea...

Cycle through Hougang Central!! After that go Hougang Swimming complex, and Yiru meii called me back (cos i called her before I left Tampines), she say, SHE AT THE SWIMMING POOL!! Kao... So zhun lor!!! WTF!

So, we chat awhile, and I carry on my journey...

Ok, I am stupid!!! Blurking, as usual... I got lost... HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! xP

Circled round Swimming complex, and around that area for abt 15 mins, then found a 72, and followed it... WHEW~

Saw the familiar route, so I followed.... Then reach Yio Chu Kang Road, and cycled along with it till Ang Mo Kio Ave dunno wad... LOL~

STRAIGHT to the MRT Track, which have the white condo there... SITU's HOUSE!!! MUAHAHA!!! I have a good sense of direction de lor!!! PLS~

Then I met Situ, walked to AMK Hub and eat Mac... Not enough $$, so borrowed $4 from Situ... Thx worx, I'll return u ASAP!!!! =D

Then walked back to Situ's Condo, and talked abit... and TADA!! on my way back..

Called Jie, but she busy studying... Called Baixin meii, but she nvr pick up... Then Jaslin Tudi called me... Say Chong proposed to Zhu on air.. hahaha.. Chong uh Chong... U really like to play this kinda game uhs? I told Jaslin, dun worry, chong always like to joke abt this kinda things de luhhs~

Then carry on cycling, passed by Hougang Sec, for fun... Aiyah... I just LOVE to explore new areas... So I cycled round and round hougang area, and finally reached Hougang Central again~

Decided to go the long way down to Eunos from Hougang New Town... Cos the Old Tampines Road is dang scary at night!!! Its dark and deserted... WAD IF I AM... RAPED?!?! jkjk

Hahaha... So I took the long way, went towards Eunos along Hougang Ave 3, to Kaki Bukit, then follow bus 65 route to Bedok Reservoir, passed by Brightmms house, but never call him com down... Then cycled straight back to TAMPINES!!! Home sweet home...

Then once I touched Tampines' Territory, Baixin meii called... Chatted while cycling all the way till I reach my house downstairs~

And here I am, BLOGGING!!

Fun and adventurous day... Thx Situ for coming down to peii me, even it was like about 30mins to 45 mins only... And thx for lending me the $4.. Hope I didnt take ur last bit of money.. =x

Thx Baixin for returning the call.. Haha... Ur bro was funny, but kinda irritating, cos I cant hear wad u r trying to say... =x

Haha... Thx all the bus 72s, that "guided" me to Yio Chu Kang.. =D

Alright, enough of crediting... I am SUPER tired now... 5 hours of Cycling, including 45mins of resting... But afterall, its once in awhile, and it is fun... ESP the talk with Situ... haha...

lalala~ Life carries on...

Btw situ, I didnt cycle there cos I am emo, I cycle there cos I am in the mood to cycle far far away from home... ITS FUN LOR!!! I love adventure, but I am a very mood-dependent person... I do things according to mood... HAHA!!! =D

Sry worx, I no picts... =x

Moody lately~

2008-08-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hmms... I ahve been moody lately...

Maybe cos I am stressed... I mean I already heck care ALOT of things le.. but still lidat... dunno y

After serious consideration, I have decided to leave the Whatevers.

I wasnt in it in the start, and by right, i shouldnt be in it! I have seen that ppl wanna join Whatevers, but was always rejected.. I mean, then why am I the special one? ITS NT FAIR!!

Also, as the oldest in the Whatevers, and the Nanny of it, I have to "take care" of those younger ones.. and to me, it is a commitment, and it is kinda stressful.. I mean I know the stress is I give myself de lor!!! But the only way to stop this is to leave it...

When I was in it, if there is a time that i must choose between 2 groups of ppl to go out with, I will choose whatevers, no matter what... And I PS my friends... And wads worse is, nt everyone thinks the same as me.. To me, thats another annoying part...

Now, I can, without stress, choose my friends too... I dun need to be so committed to whatevers anymore...

Well, I cannot deny the fact that there are some bad memories in there, and that I aint in very good terms with some of them, but it is NOT the main reason why I left...

Forgive me of my selfishness... But it is a hard decision for me too... I love the Whatevers, now and forever.. But I have to leave... I wun forget u guys.. dun forget me yea? Do ask me out too, but I cant promise I can be there 90% of the time anymore...

Have fun Whatevers, and take care of urself k?!

I removed my Profile on the whatever blog, and the admin rights in the blog... Haha... =D

=D

Well, just now I cycled, and I kinda almost cried.. I also dunno what.. maybe is stress... haha... Dun worry, I can get over it de luhhs... I am strong de.. Just that I have my weak times.. =D

Jie, thx for being there for me... Jia you in ur studies...
Meii, thx for listening... I'll continue to update u of my life.. =D

A story I recieved from my Friendster Inbox

2008-08-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

I think this is kinda meaningful and I wanna blog it up... =D

ENJOY~

The Tale of the 2 Angels
Two traveling angels
Keep reading to the bottom of the page -- don't
stop at the feet (You'll see).

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night
in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels
stay in the mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space in
the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the
older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.
When the younger angel asked why, the older angel
replied,
'Things aren't always what they seem.'
The next night the pair came to rest at the house
of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his
wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple
let the angels sleep in their bed where they could
have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels
found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole
income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the
older angel how could you have let this happen?
The first man had everything, yet you helped him,
she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to
share everything, and you let the cow die.
'Things aren't always what they seem,' the older
angel replied.
'When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I
noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the
wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and
unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the
wall so he wouldn't find it.'
'Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed,
the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him
the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem.'
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things
don't turn out the way they should. If you have
faith, you just need to trust that every out come
is always to your advantage. You just might not
know it until some time later...
Oooo
Some people ( )
come into our lives ) /
and quickly go.. (_ /
oooO
( ) Some people
\ ( become friends
\_ ) and stay awhile....
leaving beautiful Oooo
footprints on our ( )
hearts... ) /
( _/
oooO
( ) and we are
\ ( never
\_ ) quite the same
because we have
made a good
friend!!
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!
I think this is special...live and savor every
moment... This is not a dress rehearsal!
(\ /)
( \ __ / )
( \()/ )
( / \ ) TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL
( / \/ \ ) AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU
/ \ SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL
( ) SENT TO WATCH OVER YOU
____
THIS IS A SPECIAL GUARDIAN ANGEL....
Now don't delete this message, because it comes
from a very special angel.
Right Now -
SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU TO SEND THIS TO THEM
Never take away anyone's hope. That may be all they have

New Blog Song

2008-08-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

F.I.R. - Change

Change is the way i feel good
Change is the way i feel good

拿起照片找寻感觉曾经熟悉的从前
窗边你我互看的眼距离不停在改变
执着脸上的岁月是样吧
我不想回答时间慢慢释放

Change is the way i feel good 不为谁
我最原始的样子不会变

逃避不了预测不了依着快速的脚步
重建意念推翻昨天旧感觉和新体验
执着脸上的岁月是样吧
我不想回答时间慢慢释放

Change is the way i feel good 不为谁
我最原始的样子不会变
Change is the way i feel good (不为谁)
爱在宇宙的位置一直会

I can still see those smiling faces .
Shining upon the sky like stars .
After all we all changed .
Is there anything left for us ?
And I wish I know that .

在转动之间我最明白我心里清楚
抓紧的一切也会走远是这样吗
我也不去想明天会有解答

change is the way i feel good 不为谁
我最原始的样子不会变
change is the way i feel good
爱在宇宙的位置一直会

Almost emo-ed.. LOL

2008-08-03T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, nowadays, u wan say I am not emo, abit fake luhhs... I mean, though it isnt as emo as last time, i seem abit sad, dull, quiet and always day-dreaming.. To me, it isnt not my emo style, but to ppl around me, IT IS JUST EMOING!!!

Well, I dunno sia... Nowadays, I like to watch sad movies... Or shows that will make me tear, or even better, cry... WOOTS~~

I sit and stare, not at girls but at blank air.. Think and think, but dunno what I thinking off..

I think I am abit off my plans, SoupYouth... I am not 100% in the mood to do this, but I have to force myself to. Cos of 2 reasons... Cos it is the almost perfect timing NOW... And cos I wanna force myself to be busy so I dun think so much... But it aint working for the second point... hahas... =x

I am happy for someone... No idea why too... but I have plans for that person's bday pressie le...

Ok... dun mention that person le... later kena complain from Jie again.... LOL~

Ouh... well, sad cos of many reasons... long story so I aint blogging it here... its kinda personal toooo.... I have decided not to blog personal stuffs and secrets already... Cos somethings are meant to be kept in my heart, and not be told...

Well, hope go in NS, come out can restart... I believe I can!

LoL... abit emo liao.. DIE... later ppl kpkb liao...

ehhh... wait uhs... i wipe tears.. haha... I AM CRAZY... I know... But I have feelings too... just its pretty mixed up and cocked up now... so ya... let it be, i'll be fine soon....

BTW, met shifu on friday.. haha... her fringe is cute de lor... but just that, cos abit too thin, so very easy to have splits, which makes it weird if u dun keep combing it back in place once iin awhile... SO ya... BUT IS CUTE DE LOR!!

Hahaha... Anyways, I am tired... Not physically bahh... Not mentally.. Just tired of something... its obvious... cos even Jie (i believe) can feel that I mentioned it lesser (or rather never even mention) now... hahas.... Jie must xin fu hor! Hahaha... Chang Chang Jiu Jiu~

OMG... I cant think... Hahaha... Dun even know wad to say le...

ok bahh... end here.... LALALA~

MY LIFE ROCKS~ FeRdy FeRdy, where is the real FeRdy?
I LOVE SOUPYOUTH!!
I LOVE WHATEVERS~
I LOVE ... errr... No more le bahh... =D

BYEEE READERS~ My post is LAMMEEEEEEE... EVERYTHING SO RANDOM AND IRRELEVANT!! hahahahaahaahaaahahahahha

For the first time, I feel like avoiding problems... I feel like running away from facts... HAHA!! Stupid FeRdy~

BYE~ *I am really gone*

*back*

OK LUHS!!! DUN LAME LA!!! SI FERDY!!! GOGOGOGOGOGO!!!

BUAIIZ~

I cant rmb.. OMG

2008-07-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

Ok.. I forgot to blog for so long.. And now, I cant rmb much..

I'll blog from Monday..

Monday
Woke up at 6+ go to CMPB for NS Medial. Reach at 7... Go through many test.. The people after me told me he kena 3 needle, another kena 2.. WAHHH!!! LUCKY I ONE ONLY!!

Then go take the logic test.... I kinda skipped 3 test cos not eough time... They have about 7-9 test.. I cant rmb...

Ouh, then btw, went to eat at the Mindef canteen... Not bad bah.. I ate western..

Then after that cos NO ONE FREE, i smsed some ppl but all not free, so nvm... Since no one free, i took bus to hougang central from bukit merah interchange... Then took 72 to YCK, then take MRT to Yishun, change 969 back to tampines... By then is 2+... Then i decide to watch movie myself..

Went to TM to see wad movie nice... Decided to watch 10 Promises to my Dog..

NICE SHOW LOR!! I like the story line.. I think i cried about 5 times... Once when her mum left her, and she is left with the dog and her dad. then is when her dad kena transferred and she have to leave the dog with her friend, then i think when she couldnt make it to see her friend off i also cried... And lastly, which is the MOST TOUCHING PART, where the dog is dying... I cried twice and REALLY ALOT OF TEARS!! CANT STOP!!

I rate this movie 8.5/10... ITS DARN NICE!!! Plus the way the love is portrayed... OMG.. Best Friends in the past, BGF in Future... OMG... COOL~ But vvery fairytale-like...

PLUS, the girl DAMN CUTE LOR!!! =x

hehe... really wad~

k luhs.... then next:

Tuesday
Well, woke up go work and then left early cos Sony Ericsson called and say my phone ready.. So i went to collect..

WOOTS~

Lucky I backup my contacts to memory card in around may... Those numbers that I got after may, pls gimme again.. cos I lost them... =D

OKAY~ That's all folks... BYE~

I am SO out of focus~

2008-07-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

Woots~ Back with ANOTHER post~

Today, I am not happy, neither am I sad, emo or anything.... HAHAHA!!

Well, I was thinking, I think I am out of focus...

What do I want? What am I doing? What was my dream? What have I done? HAHA... Questions AGAIN!

Well, I have decided.. After SOOOO LONG~ I have always been so out of focus... I have always been searching for something I never think it will last in the first place...

I have been living in my comfort-zone.. One example is HabboSoup... I have been so focused on HS... For what? HS will be down one day, either when we all lost focus, or that when Habbo closes down... When will it close, we all dunno, and will never know... But all I know is, IT WILL DEFINITELY CLOSE DOWN ONE DAY! That, is for sure...

Well, now, I have plans... HabboSoup shall take off, away from Habbo.. So that we dun have all the restrictions Habbo give...

We shall step out into the real world, out of the virtual reality... SOUP (which HabboSoup will become) will have more to offer... Outings, competitions, camps, workshops etc.. Not forgetting the current Forum and Radio! Not only that, we might even start having paid jobs! (that is if SOUP can start earning, in some way) Of cos the pay will not be high... All these jobs are for Youths to gain experience and to get a feel of how those Jobs are like!

PS: I was thinking of write out the ideas, but I guess I'll just THROW IT ALL IN MY BLOG NOW!

For the Radio, we will have Free-Lanced DJs. These DJs work at home, and will be paid very little. The main point is not about the pay, but the interest! Next up is the Dedicated DJs. Hopefully, in future, SOUP have enough funds to have a SMALL LITTLE OFFICE. Where the Dedicated DJs can DJ there. A small, sound-proof studio, with just a normal Home PC will do just fine. Of cos, the Dedicated DJs get more $$. But well, they have to travel, u see? Thats why it actually makes no diff. But the Dedicated DJs get to experience real, studio DJing, with real DJ-workship. They plan events, games, competitions etc! The Radio will be much more professional and much more FUN!

Next up will be Hosting. Well, Hosting will be our main income, but trust me. It is NOT EASY to earn from hosting... Firstly, it is expensive... Next, not many people are interested in doing web-hosting! SO yea...

Well, following up is the EVENT COMMITTEE!!! This, is the MAIN PROJECT GROUP for SoupYouth. Event committee will be the one who gets the MOST BUDGET. They will organise outings like ice-skating, movie trips, kbox, chalet, beach volleyball competition, ETC! But of cos, you need to pay. Start by paying full amount, and slowly, when SOUP starts earning, we will subsidize everything for you!

Of cos, with a Forum in place, we need a FORUM TEAM! In this forum team, we will have a Forum Admin, together with Moderators and Journalist (YES, Journalist will remain as a Job in SOUP!). The main Job for the Admin is to make sure the Forum is updated and runs smoothly. He will be the one to choose his Forum Team! Moderators are there to pick up some nasty kids that tries to disrupt our Forum. Journalist, in this case is different from the current HabboSoup ones... They will be going out to get hold of AS MUCH NEWS AND GOSSIPS AS POSSIBLE. Best are first hand news. Imagine a 16-18 yr old youth, carrying a camera, rushing to places with maybe, stars, singers, actors etc.. Take a picture of them, get some gossips, etc! It will be FUN! Experience the Journalism~

Well, in future, there wun be a Radio Committee, but a Media Committee... It will not only manage the Radio Section of SOUP, but the Podcast Section of SOUP. Not only that, we hope to buy scripts like YouTube-like Script, and vidcast (video shoutcast) system that screens shows and movies! Of cos, we might even try to budget ourselves to MAKE OUR OWN MOVIE/SHORT CLIPS!! I believe it will be a FUN AND EXCITING EXPERIENCE for youths to make their own movies!

Of cos, all these ideas are thought by me, and it of cos is in lined with my favourites. If you have any ideas that you think is good for SoupYouth, do share with me! Just add me in msn (herecomesbirdy [at] gmail.com) or email me (ferdy [at] soupyouth.org)!!!!!

I need ideas to earn revenue (for the Events and Server Management), ideas of events, ideas of more departments, ideas of more things to add to our services. Your comment and ideas are MUCH APPRECIATED!

Also, if you think you are interested to join me in realising this dream, email me too!!!

THANKS GUYS, FOR READING!! =D

New Skin

2008-07-23T08:22:00.001-07:00

Woots~

Somehow, I feel like changing skin again! Did it in 20mins... WOOTS~

Dunno wad to say bahhh... Ehh.. end here.. BUAIZZ!!! <3

HP Spoil

2008-07-22T09:11:00.000-07:00

Haiish...

Long time no post, but dunno wad to post... Nth happened lately bahh, and I also dunno what to say about... Whatever bahh...

Anyways, my SonyEricsson w910i is down.. All contacts WILL BE LOST (as said by the person)... Haiishh...

Please gimme your contact again... Like erms... MSN me? My msn is at my profile..

iPhone should be in SG by September, that is if IDA dun cock up the checking of the device...

HOPE SO!!! I WAN MY iPHONE 3G!!!! T.T

haiishh... I feel like something or someone is missing... I dunno... Maybe is that I love someone, maybe is that I just miss the feeling of loving someone deeply... I wanna go in NS fast, so that I can train till I drop daily and not think so much...

haiish... I dun wan die yet... So yea.. dun worry... I wun... I just wanna forget everything... Hopefully, someone can brainwash me... T.T

I am not emo bahh.. I am err... sad? lonely? crazy? HAHAHA!! I AHVE NO IDEA!!

Btw, thx Joyce meii, for making laugh so much at my computer lately... I mean, i was laughing at what she says etc luh... Not like my Apple Macbook is funny? =.=

Haiish.. Dunno what happened yesterday.. Shouldnt have left yesterday... I heard boss said alot of things to those 3 girls and they are like so upset abt it.. Sry ppl.. Sry Elvira, Gladys and Cheryl... I dunno what I am apologizing for.. Maybe if I am there at that time, it might be different? Feel so useless...

I dunno luhs... Life sucks.. Things always comes at the wrong timing... Things always happens at the worse timing...

Zzzz.... But IT WILL GO ON!!

*BTW, changed blogskin... WOOTS~ This is not nice, but I PURPOSELY go edit the graphic.. It was white, with a black BG, KAO, LOUSY... I go invert the graphic color to black with white strokes and words, to suit the black BG of the blog.. =D

Another Blog Song~

2008-07-18T01:52:00.002-07:00

许茹芸阿穆隆-男人女

爱爱爱爱了几回
也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回
也曾经为爱憔悴
爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈
我却还是学不会狠心对谁

男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
女人女人我答应做个好人
我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生

爱爱爱爱了几回
也明白其中滋味
付出的从来不会等于收回
我却还在等待着谁能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回
也曾经为爱憔悴
爱情好人总比坏人狼狈
我却还是学不会狠心对谁

男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
女人女人我答应做个好人
我答应用我一生来换你的快乐一生

男人男人多希望你是好人
多希望用你的真让我不必再心疼
女人女人我答应做个好人
不会再让我(你)心疼一等再等
你就是我等的那个人

男人男人
女人女人
多么希望你是对的人

New Blog Song~

2008-07-18T01:52:00.001-07:00

You Make Me Want To Fall In Love
F.I.R. (飞儿乐团)

我愿用我有限
的永远

交换曾经快乐
的泪水

穿越不安地带
穿越所有危险
来到你身边

*
我有时相信美丽
的预言
却又不想如此
心甘情愿
直到你的出现
才了解这一切
因为你而改变

#
you make me want to fall in love
就在这一刻
oh~
也不管明天会如何
只要今生有你左右
陪着我不再寂寞
you make me want to fall in love
就在这一刻
oh~
瞬间也可以是永恒
只要每个寂寞时候
爱的回忆留在我心中

repeat *,#
就算岁月带你走
就算距离淹没我
还是一直守候着
我会永远为了你存在
repeat #
只要每个寂寞时候
爱的回忆留在我心中

Woooooops~

2008-07-17T08:50:00.001-07:00

LOL... Back with today's post... Actually, I dunno why I put my title as that.. HAHA~

Woke up at 2pm.. FOR THE FIRST TIME, I DID NOT HAVE WAKE UP INTERVALS... Actually, not first bahh.. as in never wake and sleep back... =x

Btw, ya... Go work at 2+... siao liao... But boss never say anything... Aiyah.. he is lidat de... Then work work lor.... Those 2 girls today came.. And as usualy, finish my whole tin of sweets.... as in my eclipse mint.. T.T

Dun care luhhs..

Then work till 8.30.. SIA LA!! I didnt know so late le lor... Wanna close, then keep got ppl come... Pek Chek lor!!!! Nvm.... Boss lemme go home first...

Then I go home, bath, then go to Wei Cheng's house.... His comp spoil.. HAHA!!

Then tml gg meet him go Sim Lim.. =D

Then come home le..Saw Doelee's email.. HS IS VIRUS FREE NOW!!! >=D

So yea.. We are MORE THAN JUST READY TO COME BACK!!

Yea.. Now, i gonna change ALL MY BLOG SONGS!!! WOOTS~

lalalala... Siianz... Today abit moody... As in high is high, but then got like siian siian times... esp when i closing.. Bomb call me, wei cheng call me.. then so many customers, wan close cant close, then mum call me also, ask me help my bro in his polishing.... KAO EHH!!! SIIANZ DE LOR!!

Haha.... Nvm.. I AM OK!! Serious~

hmmss... Ok.... I go change Blog Songs and then go update HS LIAO!!! =D

Today~ WOOTS~

2008-07-16T08:29:00.001-07:00

Haha.... Woke up at 10!!! MIRACLE, cos i played miniclips till like 6am this morning!!! WOW~

Then use comp, blablabla....

Then play abit game, then go work... Late.. tsk! WTF!

Haha.... Worked... Those 2 girls are there... Helping to put price tags on the stationaries... COOL~ They always do that... Uncle and Auntie sure happy... Free-labour~

Then they left at 6+.... Stupid luhh... say my make drinks not nice... FINE~ I next time dun make for u all... Go ask uncle or boss make...! ^%(*%#@%#*&

Then I finished work at 8.10... But I wrote 8... I guai gia lor.. Dun wan boss over pay me.. Plus today damn slack... Get $1 less nvm (ps: 1 hr $4, 15mins $1)

So yea~

Thats my day...

After come home watch tv, use comp.. Jie told me somethings... HEHE~ Dun worry, I am fine...

Well... I hope its clean now... Just dun wanna piss anybody off... OUH!! the links... later I go do....

Then meii ask me meet her... So I meet lor.. In the end cycle her to 800+, just nice got friends there, PS me... Nvm luhhs... XI GUAN JIU HAO~

Then I went to cycle around... Quiet places.. Tampines Avenue 8.... ULU PLACE.... And then Avenue 9, near ave 8 there, ALSO ULU!! Big field.. I sit on my bike, look up at the cloudy skies (with no stars)... Think and think... Sang songs, cos NOBODY THERE AND NOBODY CARES~ WOOTS~ Shuang DAO~~~~

Ok... I am fine... I AM FINE LUH!!! WHICH PART OF IT YOU DUN UNDERSTAND?!

Then cycled home... One the way, I think aaaaaa tear dropped... One nia... Nth de... Last time got worse things....i lived through the past, I'll live through this too... YEA MAN~~

Ouh... then now home... WAHH... SHUANG DAOO~~~

Home is still best larhh...

Ehhh... I am fine.. REALLY~~ Dun believe? come see lor! Tampines Street 44, Block 468... =D

Heck luh... u wan come rob my house, also nth de... somemore so messy, wan find money also need dig for it...

Yea...

Hmmms.... Going to play my miniclips again.. I bought a full version of the game.. SIAO HOR? 9.99USD, SGD should be abt 14+...

K luhs.. dun wan blog le.... HERE I COME!!!!! WOOTS~

Ehhh... Ya hor... Change linkiie first~

Cya dudes~

New Blog

2008-07-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

Hey, I trasnferred to a new blog... =D

Some issues bahh... =D

Will be blogging here... old blog posts are at another link and will not be updated already.

Look forward to updates in future~ =D

CYA PPL~